Randomparad-e

Cutest thing on this side of the world.

2011-05-01T00:31:00.001+08:00

Hello my dear readers, well I can't say readers if you're not my daily reader or whatsoever.. okay nevermind.

I've changed blogs. Keeping this one here for the sake of memories. I may go back and look at it to reflect myself. I'm just starting on a new blog because.. I've moved on. (:

ConjuredLove

click there tyvm.

Goodbye, memories.

I'm out

2011-02-15T18:49:00.000+08:00

Camp tomorrow.

Back on friday

I have a twin.

2011-01-30T13:11:00.000+08:00

I have a twin and his name is Syafiqa. HAHAHAHA CUTE RIGHT! Don't we look a like?

So my Saturday was occupied my dear twin here. We webcammed like... nearly half of the day. camwhoring and talking crap. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I also watched the whole of season 2 of glee. Man when is February gonna come?! the last two eps of season 2 glee. Can't wait. Can't wait!

I need to go now! Study and do my art. shall blog later.

A dream that can never meet reality.

2011-01-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

Life can be bloody. Life can be so painful that you need to suck it all and let it out.

Most girls would just wanna live in a fairytale. We can dream. We can dance in that fantasy, we can slide into it. Fantasies can be real, if it's realistic enough. But not all fantasies are like that right?

I love reading young adult books. Especially romance novels. It has those kind of endings, bad and good that can never be expected. IT has all that shit drama you can never really find in real life. The best part about reading them, you get to feel and read what the author is expressing to the readers. When it hurts too much, you'd feel the hurt. It's like you're experiencing the pain and love at the same time.

I dont really have a specific favourite author yet. But the books I read, they're like heaven to me. You'd know if the book is good by it's first few chapters. Better, the first page! The book so well written, that it'd make you cry. How beautiful it was to experience (not physically, but emotionally), how the main character is facing through.

ANYWAYS, talking with some bra right now. I mean a human. Shall post picts from today.

"What?" I asked uneasily. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

He shook his head, the smile rueful now. "Because sometimes, a person can get so caught up in the details that they miss the whole. It's not just the dress or the hair. It's YOU. You're beautiful. So beautiful, it hurts me."

— Richelle Mead (Last Sacrifice)

220111 vlog

2011-01-24T23:01:00.001+08:00

Plagiriazing is bad.

2011-01-22T12:31:00.002+08:00

SHINee's song Ring ding dong and Lucifer was plagiarized!

Well I just found out when I went to go through allkpop.com articles! laugh.

Lucifer

Ring Ding Dong

WHATTHEHELL LOOK. THEY EVEN HAVE THE MV FOR RING DING DONG. STUPID! LOL

They have no originality.

I'm going out with Mimi and Sheralyn later.

Sorry my dear readers that I haven't been updating every day as promised. Be back soon!

Disowned.

2011-01-13T18:47:00.001+08:00

It's unfair when you're treated so differently. Do you hate me so much? Do you dislike me so much? When I get home, i always have thousands of things to say to you. All of that gone when I saw your uninterested face. Turned my mood off so instantly.

Screaming and shouting on the phone like a small kid wouldnt change anything, you just shout an scream all you want! Did you even consider my feelings? Whatever I do has a reason. You screamed on the phone until passerbys can hear. Have you ever thought of that? If you are angry, just use a freaking angry tone. Not a screaming tone.

I didnt do anything wrong. Even if I went home, i'd just fall asleep on the couch without doing anything first.

And then you dont even support whatever shit I wanna do? After you found out that I was still contacting my ex boyfriend, you didnt trust me. You threw irrevelant words like 'you're killin me silently.' WHAT BULLSHIT IS THAT? HE JUST CALLED ME. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. I treat him just as a friend. Why were you so shocked? You could trust me last year. This year not anymore after I told you I was on the phone with him? and you said that i'm the one who called. What proof you have?! Assumptions! You think so cheaply of me. I dont want his attention anymore. Whatthehell you know. Im studying hard, very hard for myself and you. But bloodyhell. You dont see it.

Its like you only have a son that you're so proud of. What about me?!!! You didnt even support me when I said I wanna be an exco. You said Councillor is enough. Saying indirectly I have no potential. No potential?! Like seriously? You have been paying attention to your son rather than me! Always smiling at what he says. Whatever he tells.

When he does something bloody wrong, you dont scold. If I were to do something similar, you'd scold me like no tomorrow. You're so FAIR.

You just see me as a hopeless daughter right?!

A HOPELESS DAUGHTER.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Im tired, really.

2011-01-04T22:14:00.000+08:00

So right now I'm on my bed to blog.

Today for the very first time as a senior councillor (OHMYGAWDWTFBBQSAUCE) i wore the GUY shirt. holycrap I didnt know how the guys could survive in those shirts! I mean like seriously!! I saw my councillor friends sweating too. Like oh mah gawd. -blonde moment-

So first thing this morning I woke up and I went straight into facebook for five minutes. :D I wanted to see if anyone was sharing the same fate as me. Wakin up at 5.50 in the mornin and loggin in facebook to whine how tired you are. ^^

Got dressed and had Koko crunch with milk.

mmmm YUUUMM

Dad left the house around 6.25 while I was still breakfast-ing. Samantha dongsaeng still could message me. Hahahahhaa.

Went down after that to see my dad waiting impatiently or patiently idk, in the car when I got on.

Reached sch in abt 10mins and i saw my senior Hidayah. The first thing I did was run out of the car with my bag and hugged her. Hahahahah.

Then councillor meeting held at 6.50 and was informed that my committee got biometrics. Poor Lifei! She got biometrics numerous times already!

Anyway after that went to do my duty as usual. Then got back to class which was at level 2. Saw the class waiting outside. i swear I was so excited.

Then Mr Kumar, our current form teacher came about 5minutes later.

Introductions was on Our name, if we had any leadership roles and what we learned in 2010.

i'm still happy to know that my register number is still 8!

We had some fun introductions. Though i cant really remember everyone's name that quickly..

24girls15boys. Awesome or what.

After that we had recees and I ate dori fish with blackpeppersauce!! yuuumm.

Then amirah came and we chat. Oh yah!! I forgot to tell you guys. My partners are both Mimi and Adilah. ^^

Got back from recess arnd 11.10 and Mr Justin Yeo came. He's our Chemistry teacher. And physics.. I think.

Ended the day with Mr Pradeep's class (POA)

I already packed my bag and the poa book is the one that is making my book superb heavy! I feel like I can dieeeeeee! LOL

Okay dont rly have anything else to post 10:37 now.. Ending off with

Me in the collar shirt and my awesome hair which I cant let go in school.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Shut eye

2011-01-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

Today I didnt do much except playing sims 3 on my brother's comp whilst he was playing his damn ps3.

It was so DUCKing smooth man. The gameplay. As expected from a gaming computer.

I didnt sleep well yesterday night. The hours i couldnt sleep, i rewatched Hello Baby and SHINee vids.

LOL LOOK AT THE TIME. xD explanation of the picture: Onew's long hair weeks back. Thank goodness he cut his hair. Otherwise I would beg my mum to buy me a ticket to Seoul and cut Onew's hair myself.

In this video he really love flipping his hair!

Hello Baby SHINee ep1 part 1. I think. Taemin was hiccup-ing and Onew smiled and teased him. Ahh my onew is so cute with that smile.

I WANT TO HUG YOU TOO <3

Okay ending off with a pict from stomp. This is pervy. Srsly. But censored k.

Im warning you.

Kkthxbai.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

My desire

2011-01-02T16:55:00.001+08:00

Blogging via my phone again. Too upset. If I were to go on my desktop, i'd be searching and staring at Canon 550d reviews. Fml.

My brother got his results. He got GPA 3.7 and so he's getting his damn playstation3. I find it effin unfair. He got a new computer, he has his psp which he rarely plays now, he took the radio from my room and put it in his room JUST FOR FREAKING SHOW when I'm the one whose always listening to the radio.

Its so freaking unfair. Mom said if I get into 3S3 (which I did) she would get me my damn dslr. But then a tragedy happened. My iphone dropped in the sea on MY BROTHERS birthday. Fml. Next day got an iphone4. Thought mom would just get for me an iphone4 out of pity because i was really upset. But no. I wanted my damn dslr more than a damn iphone. This upsets me so damn much.

): goodbye my companion.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The first day of the new year

2011-01-01T23:25:00.001+08:00

Hello, you all know my baby Onew.

Since i'm in a hurry, i'm blogging on my phone. The clock is ticking and I only have half an hour to blog. Blargh.

What I did today:

Got a new bag.

Costs 79.90$ -_-

After that bought new clothes from Hang Ten. Wooo me like!

too bad yew cant see! -merong-

Went to metro to buy bro's crocs and my umm. 'stuff'

Mum took a very long time to choose hers man. Like NEARLY half an hour. Dad was whining and complaining. Haha xD

After that bought some books a popular. Saw this 'book lite' thing. Mom bought for me because she knows im a bookworm and i always use my iphone's flash.

Awesome right? :D i loike. Mehahahehahehehe.

Okay i shall stop now to bathe.
Tata!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Goodbye 2010.

2010-12-31T18:07:00.000+08:00

Content

SHINee updates
Spamming about how great Onew is
New year resolution
How much of an ass someone can be
Hello new world.

Last year, I spammed about 2009's Gayo Daejun. Now I'm gonna do it again since I've been lacking on SHINee updates. :\

Taemin totally rocking his head. \m/ AHAHAHA LOOK AT MY BABY!

Had a fun time watching and reading these few days. I've finished reading Last Sacrifice by Richelle Mead in a day. 593 pages. I feel so godly. Nah kiddin'. Now I'm slowing down my reading. I'm reading Wicked Lovely series. Gonna buy the sequel soon. Ink Exchanged. I've always wanted to read this series! It's so awesome.

On the 29th there was the SBS Gayo Daejun. 30th, which was yesterday, KBS Gayo Daejun. AND TONIGHT! There is MBC Gayo Daejun! I hope my boys are alright! Big concerts for the past few days.

SBS Gayo Daejun, Onew's trot song with Key. I'm guessing the cameraman is a fan of Onew. -laughs-

:3 :3 :3 BAEEEEEEEEBEHHHHH~
SBS Gayo Daejun, LuciROCK. (Lucifer rock version)

I swear that was the BEST PERFORMANCE by them EVER!

Taemin and Victoria make a good couple. :3:3

Though I'm quite unhappy with the microphones.

I'm having my SHINee craze again. I picked it up. Blarghz xD~ I wished it was earlier though. 2011 is just tomorrow.

Speaking of 2011, I'm suppose to do my new year resolution.

I've been crying and hurting myself because of just one stupid idiotic guy. I must add the words with the same meaning twice to exaggerate how despicable this person is. Should I say his name? I should not. Maybe. I don't know. He's such an ass. I'm always bringing up my past to the present. I shouldn't do that.

The stubbornness of me. I can't let go, I don't want to let go. I can actually, but I don't want to. How unfair that you made me so deeply in love with you. I'm crushed by your ignorance, how you can care for someone who doesn't want you, when there's someone here who wants you. You're taking things for granted, you'll only come to your senses and see how great I am. I'm childish I must admit, I thought I grew up. But I didn't. I'm still living in my own world when it comes to you. I'm out of control when I think of you, when I see you, when I am with you. Why is it you still can think of someone else when you're with me?

Isn't that fucking sickening?

I forgot how to love. I want to learn how to love again. Not idolizing someone, but really love. But it isn't time. No matter how much I crave, no matter how much I want. I'm still too young.

Okay my new year resolution is......

To be a good leader to my juniors.
Forget about some idiotic idiot. -yes again same words same meaning.-
Blog daily about what's happening in 2011 so that I wont forget. -EH I FORGOT TO BLOG ABOUT CAMP-
Continue supporting SHINee no matter what happens -glares at anti Jonghyun clubs-
Continue my hobby of photography,writing and reading (reading is a must man.)
Be happy in the new class. -fish! I'm so excited and nervous at the same time! :@@-
To do my homeworks on time and arrive for my duties earlier (I'm always late for both of these)
TO LOSE 20KG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've already lost 10kg in lower sec. I needa lose 20kg more!!!
Happy.

That's it I guess. :O

End off with .....

My baby and me. :)

Christmas Special

2010-12-25T02:31:00.000+08:00

Okay. #445! :D

Christmas Story Special.

Please note that this story is fictional and not non-fiction. It was inspired by Sims 3 Late Night.

I grew up in a fine well known family. My parents are celebrities, for goodness sake. But, in this "oh they look so awesome" family, there are dark hidden secrets that would be revealed one by one. One time, my parents argued whether I'm the son of someone's else. Yeah, well that's life isn't it? I thought it was normal for parents to argue every day, but I was so wrong.

Scene: Discovered
"Zachary, go to the attic and help me get the box that's full with our old books, would you?" Anna Lopeze demanded while reading the newspaper. Ask me why I used my mom's full name. It is because, she isn't like a mom at all. "I'm going to donate the books so I'd look all goody two-shoes in front of the paparazzi." she smiled at me. "Yeah yeah." I grunted. Fame is all you care, what about your 17 year old son? You just buy for him clothes to look good in public, you give him extra allowance to show them you got the money, you make him occupied with extra activities so he wouldn't bother you at all. Oh yes, what a great mother indeed!

I stomped my way up to the top floor of the house and stood in front of a worn out door. It looked so old and ugly. I hated going up here. I turned the knob to the left to find it not locked. 'Weird. It should always be locked' I wondered out loud. Nevertheless, I still had to go in. My right foot took it's first step in. Tiny squeaks could be heard. Damn, they really don't care about this part of the house don't they? 4 boxes stacked neatly right next to the door, 3 small boxes looked like they were just packed sitting right in front of Anna Lopeze's antique desk given by a famous manufacturer which I'm unsure of myself. I know, douche.

I looked through the other boxes hidden behind the desk and found a box labelled as "Box full of memories." It was a tiny one, It was hiding behind the big boxes. I took it and also the box next to it labelled as "Box filled with crappy old books".

I slammed the door behind me and ran down the stairs and placed the big box at the living room where Anna Lopeze was still reading the newspaper. The small box still secured by my side, I ran to my car and drove towards my favourite all-time place, The Esplanade. The place where I'd sometimes see her. Being there just makes me happy.

Scene: Masked.

I searched in the garden for signs of her. Nothing. Not a shadow, not a hum and no smell of lemon grass. She always smelt like lemon grass since she lived in a farm. I sat at the bench where we first talked. I looked left and right again. She's not here. I sighed in disappointment. I placed the box next to me at the empty seat. I took off the lid and found a red diary in it. I clasped over the diary and admired it. The diary looked old, but still beautiful in it's way.

I flipped over the hardcover and scribbles were written all over the front page. I flipped to the second page and read the long cursive (which was very irritating) entry.

29 April 2001,

Day 1 without my darling Ataane. He said he would not come back, but I didn't believe his words. I promised you that I'd hold on to you, till the very day you come back. I'll be famous so it'd be easier to find you, to be in your arms again. I keep my promise, I will. I will never fall for any other guy. My heart has been occupied by you and only you. I'll be writing and writing how my days are without you. How different can life be without you by my side.

Aren't we cute here? :)

The day he left.. he told me on that day.. which was really unfair.. 28 April.

Ends here for the mean time becuz i wanna sleep. NIGHT.

2010-12-25T01:04:00.001+08:00

This is my 444th post. gonna skip.

I'm tired what about you?

2010-12-22T20:35:00.000+08:00

*Please read this like 'you-are-reallyreallyreally-tired-and-you-don't-wish-to-say anymore-but-then-you-have-to-say-it-because-it's-kind-of-irritating' kind of tone.*
I'm tired of the hypocrites, I'm tired of all the lies, I'm tired of the two head snakes I will have to come across, I'm tired of people acting nice, I'm tired of it all. But why can't I get tired of it now? Because this is just only 3% of it. Life is like that. So live with it.

The world is round. Everything is balanced and equal. You be nice, they'll be nice. But hey, why do you have to give such face to show you're unhappy with that person? I really hate to go through with it. To see that someone hates me so much just by my first impression. Oh come on.

I had the best camp ever and you guys didn't go. BOOHOO. LOL. -evil-
Kiddin'. Shall post about it soon. I MEAN REALLY SOON. But not tonight, I have to rest for my sec 1 registration tomorrow. Helping out and I need tons of rest..

Evil be he who thinketh evil

2010-12-09T23:58:00.004+08:00

I'm working on a Sims story right now. Maybe it's a related life story. I shall post it soon on my blog.

"You will never ever leave me again, right?" I looked up at his face. "I promise." He said calmly. The breeze blew softly on my face. My hair was a mess. I didn't manage to brush it this early morning. I looked far ahead of us. The was sun rising up from the edge of the deep blue sea. A beautiful moment, the start of a day and I'm watching it with you.

"당신이보고 싶을거야(I'll miss you)" he whispered softly into my ears. "Mo?What did you say?" I shot a glare at him. "Nothing." he smiled. "Bogoshipo? Miss? What are you saying? I really hate it when you speak all korean and I don't understand." I pouted. "Nothing of you need to know." He chuckled. I always adored that sexy laugh of his. One of the many reasons why I'm so madly attracted to him. "The sun is rising, just like you. You're my sun. My only brightness. Without you it's like the world ended for me. You have achieved so many things in life, my love. I'm so happy for you. When you're not here with me, I miss you like how the sun misses the moon." I looked at him waiting for a reply. His face was facing the ground. I was unable to read his expression. He then finally looked at me and said "사랑 해요 내 이여름. 미안 해요,하지만 우리가 더 이상 함께하실 수 없습니다. 난 당신이 보호 해주고 싶어. 이게 내가 말할 수있는 유일한 방법입니다. 난 당신이 이해 바랍니다. 당신을 사랑합니다 (I love my Lee Yeo Reum. I'm sorry, but we can not be together anymore. I'm trying to protect you. This is the only way I can say. I hope you understand. I love you.)" without saying any more, he kissed my cheek and gave me one last hug before he went.

I watched him go away, again. Didn't you just promised me that you'll never leave me again?

Happy Birthday Choi Minho!
Congrats to me and my baby Onew for our 1 year anniversary! Woohoo!

"Said I wouldnt call. This time I wont. Even though I need you now, I'm gonna be STRONGER than that. This time."

2010-12-06T18:34:00.000+08:00

I said I wouldn't call/text but I lost all control and I need you now.

You'll only be alive in my heart for awhile.

After yesterday, I really can't tell which is which. What is what. How and why. Why did life have to be so troublesome? *chuckles

I think I made the biggest mistake ever.
Thanks Mimi for still supporting and understanding. I love you girl! (hearts)(hearts)

Tomorrow going out with B, A, M. BAM! HAHAHA. I'm gonna buy my kimchi again.

Mom used most of it to do Kimchi Bokumbab. (Kimchi friedrice)

My Kimchi bokumbab with Kimchi dressing. Double kimchi. Double awesomeness!

The other day I went to cut my own hair. YES. MY OWN HAIR. BY MYSELF.

What am I doing right now:
Writing letters.

Hi idiot,

2010-12-02T19:32:00.000+08:00

I didn't say true love. I didn't say anything. You're just a passerby who didn't know crap that happened to me. I'm not an adult, nor a young adult. I'm a TEENAGER whose going through PUBERTY and LIFE. I'm not some lifeless kiddo who sits behind the computer and stalks on her ex boyfriend alright? I think that's what YOU DO because YOU are here to REPRIMAND me.

But hey, seriously. Thanks for commenting! :)
-sarcasm-

I'm sorry, but seriously. Who are you to judge me? I'm asking everyone to be my witness. The one who read that post, they're meant to see I'm not suppose to love an unfaithful fucking bastard! Do you know what he did to me? Do you know why I still love him? Do you know, that you're being such a fucking passer by the one that has no fucking life?

How 'bout I tell you this, you're the fucking immature one whose fucking around people's formspring. LOL.
Nopenope. I'm gonna go to the police station and find out who the fuck are you. All right? :D
Nope I'm not being a pussy, I'm being a damn good girl for not being part of the cyber bullying case! HAH. LOL.

you kowtow me I happy le. ROFL THAT SOUNDS SO DAMN AHLIAN. nahh kiddin'.

I'm not that type of person okay?

Oh yeah, who are you to tell me whats love and whats true love? bullshit. if you know what's love, then you wouldn't be so sickening to post those kind of remarks. LOL.

Much love,
the writer.

My favourite artist

2010-11-30T23:41:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking. Who is my favourite artist? I know my favourite all time band is Alesanal. But then what abourt artist? An individual?

Justin Timberlake. Woooo

I was dancing along to his song whilst I was bathing just now.
And whenever I think of the word "Love" I think of you.

My phone died so let it die. Not really expecting any messages anyway.

Are you satisfied with your ownself? Did you have a great time playing with a girl's heart? Have you had enough? I'm done reflecting so I'm just gonna tell you this via text message and my blog.

I found out there's really such thing as "I love you so much that I lose confidence in you."
I was so afraid of losing you again and again. Let this be a lesson for me to never fall in love with you again. Because, if I were to do it again, I'd only hurt the people around me and not only you.
I remember I went to the extreme of hurting my friends and family because of you. I used my friends to meet you, I hid our relationship from my parents, my hair was cut off because of you. I'm not blaming you, but I'm blaming us. But yet again, I don't regret being with you. If not I wouldn't be able to go through this. Life has so many obstacles, you're one of them I'm supposed to go through, right? This is a goodbye. I'm really erasing you out of my head. I know I wont go back to you even though one of my friend told me that when you want me back, I'll be running into your arms. He was so sure. 100% sure. Well i'm here to tell you this so that readers can be my witnesses. You can be my witness. I. Will. Never. Ever. Fall. In. Love. With. You. Again. Thanks for being there for me.

P.S. when I really said I'm okay with it, when I said I just wanna know, I was being honest. My explanations are always excuses with you, right?

Much Love,
Farhana

Clap your hands, because tonight will be the last.

Dramas

2010-11-25T23:39:00.001+08:00

I've been watching a lot of dramas lately since my holiday is all about staying at home. (ZzzZzz No going out for a real holiday. for instance OVERSEAS)

Dad has no leave. I pity him. -sighs-

anyways I'm currently watching:

A drama that stars..........
JANG GEUN SEUK!

Mary Stayed Out All Night

The drama is only at episode 5 now. And I watched them. THE DRAMA IS SO DAMN FREAKING GOOD I TELL YOU. I LOVE IT SO MUCHHHHHHHHHHZXZXZXZXZXZXZXZ.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -SCREAMS-

This left me in suspense since this is episode 5. Rawr. The most funniest episode evur.

And I'm telling you. THE TWO MALE LEADS ARE FREAKING HAWT. OH MY GAWD. -faints-

Before watching this, I finished 10 episodes in a day of "Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge"

Description:
Takano Kyohei is a handsome but bad-tempered university student who is always ready for a fight; Toyama Yukinojo possesses a cuteness that can be mistaken for a girl; the cool-headed Oda Takenaga excels in academics and sports; and the princely Mori Ranmaru loves females, accept a proposal from the female owner of the house where they are lodging at for free lodging if they are able to transform her niece into a proper lady?. Her niece, Nakahara Sunako lives in a gloomy and solitary world because of an inferior complex about her looks. -Jdrama Weblog

just gonna show off at how sexy and hot kame is. :3

I shall go and find other dramas whilst waiting for Mary stayed out all night ^^

Goodnight everyone.

Day 15

2010-11-22T22:18:00.001+08:00

I don't miss anyone anymore. I don't hate, i don't love.

Push Push Baby Boy

2010-11-22T11:13:00.000+08:00

Was going through Allkpop today and saw this. @_____________@ -faints from excitement-

Going out with Samantha dongsaeng later. Will take loads of pictures ^^~
Bye for now!

Day 14

2010-11-21T00:19:00.000+08:00

Dear Wendy Chioy (Huiwen),

How are you? We were once so close. I mean like so close as sisters. Even Nick saw that. I hope you're doing fine. It has been a long time since we had a real conversation. What really happened between us? I don't know. I think I just felt backstabbed and then suddenly, when everything was okay, you ignored me. Around Jan earlier this year I think. I knew you since 2006. I hope we can build the friendship again, because I know we were reallyreallyreally close. I'm losing everyone I love, I don't want to lose you as a friend/sister too.

(:

I'm engaged

2010-11-20T03:35:00.001+08:00

Key umma and Charmaine Eugenia Kum got engaged on the 18th of November. Well let me tell you guys, I'm engaged too! Though it was on Minho's birthday. :B 09 December 2009. That's why Minho is our son! (Me and Onew's)

Official announcement of me and Onew's Engagement here.
Onew's birthday short story -click pl0x itz awsum-

Charmaine told me about her plan where she and Key are engaged in FACEBOOK. LOL. -scoffs- Key has a facebook account and made their relationship status to "Engaged to _________" with each other. Charmaine asked if I wanna do it. So I said, sure. I don't mind. SINCE I AM ALREADY SINGLE ON FACEBOOK! -glares and pout at Rahayu-

So this is me and Onew. :D 09/12/09

DEAR WORLD:

RAHAYU WOSAINI BROKE UP WITH ME ): ): ):

she made it official after having a scandal with Faiqah!! ):

okay i wanna go sleep now.
kkthxbai

3:35am okay. -.- pffts. xD

mood: exhausted.

Day 13

2010-11-20T03:17:00.000+08:00

Dear xxxax,

I know I haven't been a great "before we stead" girl friend. I'm the worse. I know. But I just couldn't believe you. I wish you could forgive me for what I've done and for the things I asked you on the 13th of Nov. I'm really sorry. Hope you'll forgive me. Though you don't believe my words.

A day without you is like a year without rain.

2010-11-17T02:30:00.001+08:00

Blogging from my phone. I've been staying up latenights lately.

Googlemaps asked me to swim across the pacific ocean LOL.

Those of you who has google maps on your phone you can try this.

Key in Taiwan as your starting point and then China for your end point.

You can even try from China to Japan. HAHAHA. this is so cute.

"Yea you don't have to lie to yourself" - Those words totally killed me. I meant what I said. I wasn't lying you phacker.

I seriously meant my words. They were from the bottom of my heart. And i miss you like how the sun misses the moon.

Dont be so ..

To me you jerk ):

It is not

Okay?!!! -frowns-

So

Right now. ):

Tried making a SIMS 3 me and a SIMS 3 of the guy. -scoffs-

I made my sims wear something similar to how i dressed when I last met you.

YOU'RE SO FULL OF BULLSHIT.

So now be

!!!!!

I dont want you in my life.

yeah like real. I cry everynight thinking about you.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

I'm out of here.

2010-11-16T00:44:00.000+08:00

'Nuff said.
If you really did love me. You would get me back. Instead, I'm doing the chasing.

But I always believed in hope. I always believed in fate.
Fate really failed on me this time.

Nomnom. Kimchi!

I'm sorry. I really am.

2010-11-15T17:11:00.002+08:00

You know, when I said I loved you since 24th November 2008, it's true? I know I haven't been a great girlfriend myself. I know I cheated on you, I know I looked at someone else when I was with you. But yet again, I didn't understand love and infatuation at that time.

When you left Singapore, thats when I really became crazy. That's when I realized my loss. That's when I regretted a lot for not being a good girlfriend towards you, thats where I regret cheating on you one time, thats where I regret misunderstanding you.

I wasn't really feeling that much insecure because we didn't really have anything in common. Yet you say you love me. When you look at me, you see nothing but my heart. Do you know what people usually say? Opposite attracts. But we have this thing in common, we see each other's heart instead. Usually when a guy sees me, they go like, "WHOAA She's a fat ass. Yuck." But you don't mind being in public with me. (that's not the case. we can't even go public because of you know what.)

I said some mean things yesterday. I mean reallyreallyreally mean. But, I was just so stressed and worked up because you ignoring me. I know it isn't fair. But I just wanted the truth. When I said I just ask. I really meant it. Deep down in my heart, I really love you. If you love me and some other two girls, I really dont mind. If you still love your ex, I really dont mind. Because I understand. I mean, all I did was ask right? I just wanted to know if you're telling the truth because I KNOW the truth. I've seen it. And you don't want me to go to the extent of revealing it here.

It's my fault, it really is for me to bring up the past. I know, you even said "hey then lets not screw this up okay?" when we met. I'm reallyreallyreally sorry I screwed up. I know, I can change for you. I just didn't want anymore secrets. I know like you said.. these are just words. But I really mean it. From the bottom of my heart for us to be together again. For us to work things out. Because I've been begging and begging my friends to tell me what I'm suppose to do even though they advised me to just forget about you. You know I really tried that method? Like billions of times, and it didn't seem to work out. So I guess the only thing that for me to forget you is when you seriously need to tell me off.

I know why back then I wasn't able to forget about you. It's because you left me waiting, you didn't tell me "HEY FARHANA. Don't wait for me okay?" and you didn't even break up with me. Worse, I promised to keep loving you till you come back.

So it really isn't fair if you don't tell me off properly.. by ignoring doesn't seem to really make things any better. It'll just make me wait again. Like a lil lost puppy who is waiting for her beloved owner to come back to fill her bowl. I'm waiting for you to come back to me and mend my heart again instead.

I promise, I'll change for you.

I love you Bataa.

I'm your cutey

2010-11-09T11:48:00.000+08:00

Me and Charmaine. We are born to be twins o_O only she's older....

When I was young till now, I have super thick hair. And I have no idea why my hair BOOMZ!
Charmaine's too. HAHA.

Heart.
The Heart shaped face is characterised by a large, wide forehead (often with a widows peak), and a narrow chin.
Solution: To remedy the heart shaped face, some hair is brought onto the forehead to reduce the area across it. A pageboy-type style is good for the lower sides of the face. With such a style, the hair is close to the head at the eyes, where narrowness is needed, but the hair is slightly full towards the face around the jaw, and below in front of the earlobes, where width is needed.
(source taken from http://www.headcomplements.com.au/facialshape.html)

Me and Charmaine has the heart shaped head. I told her last time it looks like Mickey Mouse.

Shall post about class outing last thursday later. Gonna get ready to meet my primary schoolmates. Loveee you guys.

Get back in the line.

2010-11-08T14:38:00.001+08:00

You know, I seriously have no mood and inspiration to blog? Do you know what's the worst thing can happen? Your English vocab and grammar deteriorating. I've been reading books but nothing is helping. Most probably it's about me and my friends spamming each other on facebook

Anyway, this "reader" of mine, baffled me.

I'm sorry to disappoint you that my skins are so nice yet my posts are so ugly. HAH. What does being a blogskinner gotta do with being a blogger? Unless I clearly state that I'm an active blogger and a blogskinner.
Since right now I have the time in the world to debate with you, and you find that my posts are so not interesting, now let me tell you something.

BRUSH UP on your OWN English first alright? Mind your own business, maybe you should have commented nicely? Why, do you have a problem with me? Did I do something wrong to you?

Are you not satisfied thinking I'm one of those blogger posers? Please. My blog is my blog, I'm just so damn lazy to update! What's wrong with that? I'm losing readers because of it. Yeah, true, but right now I can't be bothered because I HAVE A REAL LIFE and not to be entertained my anonymous users like you who sit behind the computer screen reading random blogs.

Sure, people making a living out of blogging, I'm making a living out of blogging too. Well not yet, I just earned 10$ though. I'm starting to bring my blog alive again, thanks to you.

I should be grateful that you commented, if not I wouldn't wake up from this depressing state. I haven't been blogging about my feelings, I haven't been blogging about my life. Actually, I haven't been blogging about my life BECAUSEEEEE I have no life right now.

I had friends who left me for some stupid reasons, I'm having BGR problems, I was concentrating on my studies to excel in my future class so I can get out of the current class I was in to have a better and united class in the next two years.

HELLO. I HAVE A LIFE. THANK YOU.

But thanks again for the wake up call yeah, whoever this person is. (:

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG she's old.

2010-10-28T22:53:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARMAINE!!

WTH.

the day we went out together, we were the same age. Now she's one year older than me :@
Nvmnvm. I've got a few more months to catch up with her :3

I still remember where you wrote in malay for my birthday. I seriously CMI in Mandrin

So I'll try my best.

Wo ai si ni.

OKAY THAT'S THE BEST :D

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Happy birthday darling!
Really had a fun day with you the last friday :)
It was our first "date" ever since 2005 lor!!! D:

Lets go out moar!! I love going out with you. You andz yourz talkz likez thiz!!! i wuzz soo embarazzed

infrontzz off JASPER CULLEN dudez... SERIOUSLYZ!!!!!! HAHAHAHA.

Love youuu.

I've known Charmaine for 5 years now!! Wow that's like superb long you know. !AloeVera! I think she came to know me as farhana50. Should be la! And then she know my other IGN, CheatMyLife. LOL. Did I mention we met in the game called Habbo? :O

There was this one time, she was seriously ignoring me whenever I talked to her. I didn't know why. But I think it was last year. She was sad and all, I didn't know. I thought she was ignoring me and being biased. But now I understood. But till this very day I feel like she's sooo bias. AHAHA. :) Anyways I love her. :D

Happy birthday Charmaine!
may all your wishes come true. Wish for me that I'll forget about that idiot Bataa okay? (:

I wait here forever.

2010-10-28T22:46:00.001+08:00

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

I, Farhana, has not given up on Onew after someone asked me on formspring. I'm still wondering who though. LOL. Today(wednesday) I've got excellent good news!

I CAN GET MY DSLR NOW.
wtfack does that mean? IT MEANS I GOT INTO 3S3!

It was in the draft of my blogger and I was lazy to continue on. My inspiration and mood for blogging is -100000000000000000000000000000. :)

I rarely blog because..

2010-10-26T22:49:00.001+08:00

because of.........

I vent out my feelings there instead of here. I've also been doing mass reading. Tomorrow I'm gonna buy books yo.

Mummy said that if I do well and get good results and get to the expected class she wants me to, we'll go out for dinner. HURRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh yeah did I mention that I'll get this thing called "Canon EOS 550D" ? and also that I can DYE MY HAIR!

Yeah I know. Totally no freedom, but hey because of my white hair (okay I have a lot of white hair because passed down from my grandmother.) that's why mom is so self conscious. :O

I wanna buy Jordan Samuel Romani's Teeeeeee shirt!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ohai that's fackin simple!!!!!

Yeah I'm obsessed with american doodes. No more korean guys. Byebye Onew. -easily throw him away.- LOL. Yeah I still can't forget about Onew okay! :(

I'm switching sides from Edward to Jacob becuz of yuuuuuuuuuu. becuz of yuuuuuuuu. @___@ Man he's shoo random. I luv it.

I'm gonna post about me and Charmaine's outing last friday. like I said, I'm superb lazy. douchezxzxz.

OH MY GAWD JORDAN YUER SO HAWT Dx

Chills that run down my spine

2010-10-22T20:05:00.000+08:00

I'm going out with Charmaine later.

Today is promotion day and the thought of it makes me wanna melt. I'm so scared. Soooooo scared. I wanna get into 3S4/3S3 badly. What if I get into 3S1?

I also want my DSLR. -sigh- Canon 550D! Cannon 500D Canon 7D. AHHHHHHHH. I'll go crazy. Maybe I want a Lumix DSLR. But still. AHHHHHH. I'm going crazy.

I'm a real big fan of yours.

2010-10-21T23:28:00.000+08:00

"I'm a real big, fan of yours
but I'm quite the joke to you
but girl it wasnt a joke when you kissed me in your room
and replied i love you too"

Hello baby. You're awesome.

Sorry I haven't been uploading much.

I've been really lazy to think. I don't wanna think anymore. I just want my mind to be blank and fall out of space.

Things have been different lately, things are changing. It's either I'm changing, or it's the world. Which is you.

It has to go your way, right?

2010-10-11T20:16:00.000+08:00

"I'm so tired of listening to one sided stories. I just wanna be happy. Lie to me, make me angry. That's if you want to manipulate my head. Is that friends? Is that family?"

You know, it's funny where when we Teens are seeing life as "no one understands me, no one gives a damn about me." I think it's true. It depends on the situation doesn't it.

Ohana means family. And family should stick together. Keep that in mind.

You know, every family always have bias for their children. I bet many of you know that. Experience that infact. Usually the dads bias the daugther while the mother bias the sons.

Tell me and let me know if you are experiencing that, okay?

Unfair that you get what you want, I just get the cow dung while you get golden bars and spotlight.

Have you ever came across where you add someone you grew up with, and you feel reallyreallyreally close with that person and he/she tells you that he/she doesn't wanna know you anymore. Thinks you're a shame and calls you a whore for no reason?

Wow. It hurts y'know.

You believe in everything he says, but in the end I'll be the one getting the tight slap instead of him. What fucking wrong did I do to you? When he raises his voice, YOU JUST GET FUCKING SAD AND NEVER SCOLD HIM! IF IT'S ME, YOU FUCKING SLAPPED ME! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!

10.10.10. 10:10

2010-10-10T22:10:00.001+08:00

Hello world, I love you.

I've been busy lately. really busy.
Will update with cute photos.. I guess.

Yeah that's a cute photo.Hi Mr.Drew. You're sexeh. The sex.

I feel so lifeless, I feel like like I've got no friends. The friends who really unfriend me, well they're backstabbers. Yeah :l "Bitches" from hell

Like a baby who needs her favourite honey suckle.

2010-09-28T21:02:00.000+08:00

There are no words that can be written nor brush strokes laid on canvas that can describe this stark and utter horror of the day I felt pain, from the word, 'love'.

Hello, 'love'

It has been a very long while since I heard from you. Today, you came back from your infamous country. Only remembered during history. So hey, I got out of school, got a text from you regarding about your stupid in game password and id. I didn't know who the hell text me, so I text back asking who is this. And then I saw your name. I didn't know whether I need to feel happy or sad. Because at that time, I was confused with my own feelings for emotions,friends and love.

We text back and forth. The one who wanted answers more was me. You said you wanted to start a new with me again, I wasn't unsure if you were true to your words back then. And then when you got back to Singapore, I got a different answer.

How long more are you gonna be such a stuck up bastard?

How long more are you gonna use girls for your own beneficial? Lust is all you desire. Not the girl's love. You said you're coming back as a man, but I see a guy who "loved" me once, coming back the same shitty ass attitude and desire.

Guys? Really. I think they're all thinking the same. Boobs, ass, pussy. That's all in their mind. Oh yeah, don't forget to add "HOT" whenever they see a person of their interest.

I go for the heart, I go for the attitude. I don't go looking at your penor or your face. I'm not like you. I'm not the girl whom you knew before.

People change after time, you left me time to think, to change ways. If it weren't for you, I'd still be an annoying brat who wants everything to go her freaking ways.

P.S
Siti, cheer up honey. I know you want a united class, you aren't the only one.
"Backstabbing people who use you for what they want, and then after they use you, the just throw you away and still make fun of you and gossip about you. That's reality I'm facing."

A new face arrives.

2010-09-25T11:24:00.000+08:00

I went to Charmaine's blog today. I didn't know that SHINee had their goodbye stage. I WAS LIKE WTF. THAT FAST? :(

I swear I didn't know. So much for being a shawol. -.- And it was on 11 Sept. Nohh wonder. I was having my hari raya :3

Anyways went to youtube their goodbye stage.

Rest well my dear boys. OH YEAH BTW. I WANNA DYE MY HAIR LIKE ONEW'S HERE.

I CAN'T BELIEVE BABY'S HAIR IS SO FREAKING HAWT. < 3333333

He's gone, and then you're coming back?
What are you? My second Onew?

A promise is a promise.

2010-09-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

It's your turn to post about me in your blog and finish up that heart. I did half of the heart for you. Now you do the same. Only the other way! -As in the other side which is... Right? LOL I did left!-

I'm going to post about my internet girlfriend, Rahayu!

Ehehehe. Hahahaha. Ehehehe.

For those of you who don't know, me and Rahayu are "attached" together since 26th August on Facebook. Awesome isn't it?!

And she's so sweet that she even made a big "card" for me. :)

At that card, she wrote "P.S, you have to post about me in your blog soon."
Well I'm doing the promise now. Tadaaaaaaaaaa!

Oh baby look! IT'S US :D

Hahaha.

I'm so lazy to update now. I'm hungry. Shall go hunting in the kitchen. Bye all!
-Gets gun-

Love fades. Mine has.

2010-09-21T21:00:00.002+08:00

If I was rose, I would have hell committed suicide the instant he said those words.

Fanfiction

Rose's point of view.

Is it true, the love you once pried on her, you assume is now gone? Gone? She claims to be the one who saved you, who went through all shits just for you. She broke in a jail just for you, for you! Dimitri, wake up. Wake up, she begs. She begs. All the things you went through with her while you were still a Strigoi, she forgives you! She forgives you!

Why can't you see? She loves you. She hates it. The way you tell her off, the way you want both of you to part.

The painful words.."I've given up on you. Love fades. Mine has" could have killed her that instant. But then, she was the optimistic girl you loved, yet can easily infuriate people at the same time, determines she would get you to come to your senses. But after you said that, she lost hope, you seriously tore her heart over and over again. It broke into millions of pieces. Even if you fix it back, you just can't find it

Inspiration from my mixed feelings, if I were Rose (or reader) , Vampire Academy: Spirit Bound

I've finished reading the book. Read 290+ pages today. 100 pages in school and the rest at home. Oh well, that's amazing achievement. :)

Gonna continue on a new series! Percy Jackson! Wooooooosh!

You put me through so many emotions.

2010-09-18T09:39:00.003+08:00

Sims 3. I have the new expansion pack! Ambitions :)

When you are the living dead, you can walk through both worlds. You feel stronger you ever had felt. You look at the species you once protected, you look at the kind you were once alive, you look at the girl whom you fell deeply was had the same blood running through you, you didn't feel any regrets. Your task now is to kill her, can you take that pride?

You send her weekly letters on how you miss her, how badly you want to taste her blood again and hear her last breath. She wasn't scared at all, because she wants to return the old you back, the Dimitri she once loved. The passion and desire you both shared. Can you take away her last breath now? Can you choke all her blood in your throat now?

Inspiration from, Vampire Academy: Spirit Bound

Salam Lebaran

2010-09-18T09:32:00.000+08:00

Please forgive me my fellow readers, it's the month of forgiveness!
I know I have not been a very good blogger and did not update regularly. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

Now that I'm stronger, I have figured out.

2010-09-04T09:40:00.000+08:00

It's okay when you ignore the person for the first time, second time. Third time? Are you that deaf or stupid to follow? You just need someone to shout at your ears to wake up from reality.

I cut my hair on wednesday.
Fringe sucks ttm but oh well. I love the other part of my hair. Though, I hope this week it will grow faster because it will be super messy because of the freaking layers.

The hairdresser layered my bottom hair too. It's thinner now. ):
I only requested for my upper part of my hair to be layered only. And she go thin my bottom hair. Hairdressers sometimes they do not understand english ): Nandemonai.. (nevermind..) it looks gewd.. (maybe)

I'm missing Mr Azlan already.

On Thursday, was the last history lesson all of us (2s1) had with him.
He stopped the lesson at the first period and the 2nd period he took the opportunity to talk to us and take pictures too.

Had lots of fun.
He promised to add us in facebook soon, but I don't see any friend request coming in. Dammit, he promised!

He even said yesterday, suka cheese pie betol lah cikgu nie. Hahaha.

I'll be history.

2010-09-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

Yesterday for Sex Ed, Mrs Tan showed us a clip on Teen Pregnancy. There was one part where the teen mom who graduated school and is holding a diploma, she has snakebites piercing!

Seriously, I'm jealous of people who has snakebites piercing.

WTF IS SNAKEBITES?
Finefine, some of you might not know what the hell is snakebites, well this is it.

The stud version.

Ring version.

I like ring versions. :)

The ugliest piercing ever to me is the septum piercing.

Don't go flaming me, but hey, it's my point of view. Opinion. :)

Why I hate it?

Because it reminds me of the cow being pierced at it's nose and then they doing all the dirty work or whatever.

I see malays having it, seriously, it's super ugly. It fits on some people, but not that tanned people like us malays. Well most of us malays are tanned but seriously? they shouldn't pierce at all. Septum is cool on some people, but I remember there is a hindu god that is a cow and the nose is pierced right? If I'm not wrong. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong.

Okay now I have to go. Tomorrow I will continue blogging. Byebye.

You can be the peanut butter to my Jelly

2010-08-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

I dreamt of you and me, engaged. At such an early age.

You whispered to me "I'll always love you. I don't care what the other sick ____ers say. You're the one I want to marry because you're the one for me." holding my hand firmly together. I was crying, I didn't know why. But all I know that we were engaged, I was crying, you held onto me.

I don't know whether you had to say it out of comfort, or it was true from your heart. But I'm telling you, when I woke up, my heart was racing so fast. I wanted you to be in front of me that instant. To assure me, of what happened. What was gonna happened, what did I do wrong, why did it happened. You may not know the answers, but I just wanted you to be in front of me right that instant.

Thanks for being there in my dreams. Thanks for making me fantasize about you from the starting I knew you. Thanks for making my heart hold on to you, Thanks for controlling my emotions.

sexydude, iny.

I'll be the best you never had.

2010-08-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

I had the weirdest dream yesterday.

Because I told you, you would live to regret it
Now I don't wanna make you feel bad
But when it comes to me just forget it
I'll be the best you never had
You put me through so many emotions
Now baby it's your turn for that

I can't seem to believe that you ever cared for me.

2010-08-27T23:21:00.000+08:00

I wanna cut my hair tomorrow. I wanna go shopping tomorrow.
Mummy, bring me shopping tomorrow, okay? I wanna buy new clothes, A.S.A.P. I feel so outdated and keep on wearing the same clothes all over and over again. Geez. But I rather buy books then clothes. BOOKS!

Yeah I know, I'm a geek. :B

Today we had Marsiling Idol for our assembly today. I seriously didn't know Mimi and Aini were gonna sing. LIARS! Say NYAA thingy. Slap them lah. Hahaha.

Will post the pictures in facebook. :)

Anyways, a lot of you do not know what happens in my facebook. I'll show you.

And also my MSN.

This is when I am at my craziest limit -not really. just the beginning-

Tomorrow might be "Upload your pictures" day for me. Because I have tons of photos to share.

Marsiling idol, investiture rehearsal -super overdue-, may 8th outing -the worse overdued one!! srsly. heng i bring my camera :D I had a feeling gonna be at johore for a long time. -

Oh yeah, music. me luv.

I thought you promised her, you'd love her for who she is. She called herself an ugly monster, a real monster. You said you'd still love her even though she's a beast/monster. But when you saw the real her, you ran away like a little coward. Where was your promise? Why didn't you keep it? Why did you have to lie, again?

I'd like that.

2010-08-27T15:20:00.000+08:00

Sorry Onew baby, I haven't been stalking you at all since your debut.
Or shall I say ever since Hello BB episode finish.

I'm just so sick and tired of people. Seriously, I am.

So many fakes in this world. They act nice to you, just to get what they want, after that they just throw you around like THRASH.

I always wake up, whining and almost on the verge of crying because I have to go to school. I hate going to school now, you know? I HATE it so much, because of a group of people who just makes me so sick of going to school, it just makes me sick of seeing their faces.

But then again, I'm forced to go to school because there is a group of people that cares for me. They'd just miss me if I'm not there.

Drop it.

2010-08-23T21:39:00.001+08:00

Learned how to play Hot 'n' Cold today during Music Lesson :)

Sheralyn and me were like singing a long Mr Pradeep playing. Teehee.

No story of the day. Just.. simply.. too disappointed. Copy pasted whatever I posted on facebook here..

I envy that sweetheart of yours. You get to see her almost everyday, you were in the same batch as her, you went through a lot of stuffs with her. What more could you have asked for? I know you ask that yourself. The sweetest girlfriend you could ever have. Maybe I could have been sweeter.

A girl who is 14 years old of age, going through a series of emotions. You described that sweetheart as a beauty, like you have never seen. You make me fall out to that beauty so quickly. Just one single word could have destroyed me. If only, you could have seen me first. If only you could have seen me a higher status then her. If only you could see how much I'm willing to be your bestfriend.

If only you didn't push me away.
You make it so hard for me to know you, you make it so hard for me to know you better. Why are you avoiding me? Why are you letting my emotions go crazy?

Are you breaking up with me before we even become real friends?

It's terrifying to know that I'm becoming a freak. Stalking you everyday. What if I appear #1 on your "Whose your number 1 stalker" ?

@ http://randomparad-e.blogspot.com/

"I'm afraid of you, because you can control my emotions and me. I'm in love with you, because you lit me up. I'm afraid to lose you, because I don't want to lose these feelings I feel towards you." - Farhana Zulkifli

I'll meet you in the club.

2010-08-22T19:33:00.000+08:00

I'm having my menses, and I can't fast. That's sad.
But I can eat.

I'll payback during the end of year holidays.

I'm thinking of activities to be planned if the class wants a class chalet. Thinking thinking thinking. More white hair, Farhana.

Old School love.
I dreamt of me and you, escaped from paradise. Instead of staying on a deserted island where we could have our own little privacy, I dreamt that me and you were in the town. The city, to be exact. Lights were shining at our faces, your hand slipped around my waist and you showed off the girl you loved to every single human being that shone their eyes at us with green envy. We sat in a secluded park, yet the busy streets still could be heard. You didn't care, you just held onto me close and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I felt like the luckiest woman to be in love with you, to be loved by you.

Wasn't it easy, to fall in love with me, love? Yet, it's hard to let go of me, right, love?

There's nothing here to take for granted.

2010-08-21T21:45:00.003+08:00

"I'll stay unbound."

And now you're waiting for guys to comment on your picture "you're sexy, you're hot, you're cute" right?

Today, I had very nice eye makeup.

Nice right? EHEHE.

Christopher told me his aim in life, "perfection and never failure. Only success"

Mine,
"Not to care what others say, do what you have to do. When it comes to Farhana, the word embarrassment or embarrassing doesn't exist." - Farhana Zulkifli via Randomparad-e.blogspot.com

An Old Crush.

I saw you for the very first time today. White t-shirt and dark blue jeans. Your hair was the same and ruffled as your facebook pictures. We made eye contact, yet, I couldn't keep my eyes off you. You would take glances back at me to make sure I am her. You were just up in front of me when I was going up the escalator too. I guess it was fate. I was just staring straight ahead, not looking at my mother at all. Just ahead, which was you. When you were walking to the other direction, you would still take glances at me. I sighed in disappointment when you didn't approach and acknowledge me. But at least.. you know who I am.

ik houd van jou.

When you love somebody so much, you're brainwashed.

2010-08-20T20:33:00.002+08:00

"I really need a wish right now."

I look like I have fangs.

Don't you always hate it when writers/blogger write about something really mysterious, it makes you wanna know? When only a handful of people would have known the answer or know the story about it. It just makes you wanna read more and more. Maybe, that's what I've been doing all this while.

I don't always want to go straight to the point. Usually when I do, it's when I'm confused or depressed or I had the sense of urgency.

Usually, people think that being in love is about being brainwashed. What if he uses you for his personal needs? It's a one sided love.

I thank God, so much, for giving me the cold and fever on the day we were suppose to meet, the day where I last saw you. If we met, I think I wouldn't have been able to let go easily as now. (well it still isn't easy. But I know it would have been harder) Though the truth hurts, I really respect your decision. I didn't regret being with you, my first love. Many say that first love isn't easy to forget. But once again, thank you for being honest and making me regain my conscience. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you.

They say, "Love matures you over time."

The nightmare ends, we wake up side by side.

2010-08-20T05:44:00.003+08:00

Morning world!

This early morning felt different. I had illusions of me and you.

If it was that staircase we were going up together, you held my hand. Would I feel the warmth of you glowing just like how you are towards to me? If you asked me to kiss your cheek, how would I react? If I get to see you stretch your arms wide for me to hug you, how would you warm me up?

Annoying Market

2010-08-19T20:57:00.005+08:00

Annoy you.

Hey Aini, Hey Farhana, Hey Aini, Hey Farhana , wazzUP.

At least the sec4s laughed. I feel so much secure and confident after that.
Aini kept forgetting lines. I tried to make eye contact with the audience at all times.

I remember I said "Have you ever thought of a teachers day gift for your teachers?" One of the sec4 class replied "No" which made me laugh on the microphone. Gah, nevermind. it's okay. At least some people know why I giggled.

Dear baby Sheralyn!

Cheer up, I feel the same way as you. But it cant be helped. It's our class. That's how we're born or even bonded together. But seriously, I know it's irritating. They only care for themselves, and never thought of the others. I know most of them were irritating you and even agitating you when they asked why is your name not there and all that stuffs. If they want to skip class, just let them skip lor. And if they get into trouble, it's their problem, not ours. Even though it's all for one and one for all kind of thing right. We don't really deserve that kind of attitude please.

Cheer up :)

Thank you everyone who came down to our bazaar and bought the food/cups!

And even watched the magic show! Thanks again!

I envy her. The way she talks to you, the way you treat her. The way you sometimes touch her too. What's so different about her and me? we're both girls, we're both beautiful. Unless you see her as the "perfect" girl you've met in your whole life. Am I not up to your mark? Do you see flaws? Are you one of those guys who look out for flaws and diss them?

Imperfection, is always in all kinds of love. No matter how similar a couple can be, they have their flaws. But love each other for that. Even how opposite and negative the couple can be, again, they still love each other for not for how he/she looks, (well that's important too to some people) but it's the heart. Don't look at my flaws, don't judge me. Don't look outside of me. Look in me. I want you to know me. I want you to hear me. I want you to heal me

How did I get here?

2010-08-13T19:59:00.005+08:00

Don't you always hear the same thing over and over again? You just get sick of it. Just the way how your daily routine and life is still the same. You'd get so sick of it, you just want it to end.

I'll stand up with you forever.

The joke is on them this time.

2010-08-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

Baby is this what we pictured the night that we said, "you're the one"?

"Isn't it a beautiful melody? A beautiful remedy? Why are you afraid to deceive her? You know it is easy. 4 little words can make her fall and shattered. Am I that cruel to want you all to myself? You know it yourself that you want me, you know it yourself how much I love you and how much I can give you." The whispers of a devil. - Farhana Zulkifli.

Changed my blog header. Today had photoshop tutorial class. God, thank god! Someone thought me the lasso tool or smth. I didn't know what that was for. The whole time I was just using the stupid magic wand and the picture would look so pixelated.

Isn't it better for me to use youtube instead of mixpod? It really is. Youtube has the videos and songs I want while mixpod doesn't and I would have to find a sharing site to upload my music to be played on mixpod. How troublesome it is.

Youtube is so easy. I can change the songs whenever according to my mood. Just change the url. Isn't that easy?! God, Farhana! why didn't you think of that?

Yesterday marks the first of Ramadhan. Actually it was Tuesday evening. 7.18pm if I'm not wrong. It marks first of Ramadhan. The next morning start fasting already.

Today is the 2nd day I've fast. Awesome or what. Hahaha.

Tomorrow I will start officially uploading my pictures. Yes, I know. I'm very late. Haha.

Today finally got my councillor badge. Tomorrow is investiture. Weeeeee.

Sheralyn's size I guess. What the hell you know what size she got for me?! Not telling. Haha. Can't wait to see it live tomorrow. :)

Tomorrow Sheralyn will be giving out the class tee shirts. I know there are some( a lot ) that are unhappy with the design, but I did it in a rush. Further more, no one even do the design, so I volunteered. At that time, I even sacrificed the time to revise on my history common test for the design. So seriously, if someone complains they don't like it, they say it's ugly, seriously I think I'll break down and cry right in front of them. I won't even fight back for it.

Don't you know how to take care of people's feelings? If you think it's so easy, why don't you do it? Saying ugly can really hurt one's feelings. I was really really angry when I saw comments of people saying "UGLY" , " I WANT REFUND" , "EEYER, NOT NICE"

I don't know how would that person feel if it was him/her doing it. And all unnecessary/stupid/ridiculous/hurtful comments are being thrown. They weren't even CONSTRUCTIVE COMMENTS!

What is wrong with people now a days?

People already do, why do you still want to complain? Why didn't you take the initiative to do it yourself? Why are you still complaining? I seriously wanted to write that in the class facebook. But, I'd get flame for it instead. Maybe I'll do it now.

Sneak peak for tomorrow's post:

It was written all over my face.

2010-08-04T22:24:00.002+08:00

SNAP I GOT CAUGHT!

Dear Old me,

Why are you such an emo poser? Why do you think you are an emo? I know you love their hairstyle, but don't you hate emo posers? You hate yourself, don't you know that?

Dear New me,

Hi new me, your ex boyfriend that left for Mongolia said lots and lots of things about you today. Are you happy?

Dear Me,

How are you? It has been a long long long long time since I've written to me. I know, it's weird. But that's how it goes.

Today, he went online, how did you feel? Estatic? Excited? Unhappy? Sorrowful? I actually felt kind of good and happy that he went online. Okay, fine, I was excited. We talked about what he did before he left, what he has done to make me so sad, what have I done to deserve it. How sweet of it to know that he actually was scared to hurt me, because he loved the fact that I loved him so deeply, the affection for him. It made him felt so warm, he enjoyed it. He didn't want to break my heart. But do you think it's all true? Maybe he lied just to make you feel better.

But the conversation was so smooth, it was not that sarcastic at all. Well some parts were. But why? Why should the feelings be rushing back?

I said countless times that I don't regret being with you, I really don't. I actually miss you so much in my life, I just miss you so much. Soo ------- much.

The face of death.

2010-07-30T21:31:00.003+08:00

"Beg for the mercy of your worthless angels!"

Currently doing a stash for me and Charlene just like that picture up there. I really thought of doing a stash on thursday so today we could like wear it during duty. Plan failed.

I envy the colourful feathered birds roaming in the sky freely. I was stuck with the same mate all over and over again. Why can't I just roam free like them? Till I was ready? I took a mistake. The biggest mistake in my life. I lied with my beak mating call that I love you, but it was just and infatuation. I got mixed up. It was hard. Really hard. But then again, now I want to free. I really want to. I beg for it. If only I can go up to them and say "I envy you" but I'm just stuck here. Entwined with you.

Anyways, some people requested to see my shelf.

here it goes :D

Yeah well, I know it's not a large collection of books. :)
But I'm guessing all of them cost 500$ + now. LOL

Btw ignore the library book plox.
It's not part of my collection. :B

Peace.

Vlog

2010-07-29T21:52:00.002+08:00

Because Farhana is very very lazy.

Peace.

Flying solo.

2010-07-28T16:12:00.004+08:00

"Dead will choke the streets with such vulgarity that grown men will weep."

youstar now?

Yes stupid idiots. This was done 1 week ago. Because the fact that I was sooo lazy to blog, i'm finally updating about it today. :)

Okay so I'm gonna treat my readers, as my best friend now. (well only for now.)

Dear best friend:

How are you? I think I made the biggest mistake of my life. I really think I did. I shouldn't have. Stupid facebook, why did I have to meet you from there? Fate, as it is. Yet again, I even did the most stupid thing too. Why was I so stupid? Why?!

I wish I didn't do that! I really wish I didn't! I really feel like leaving, why can't I just leave?! I'm scared to hurt you, scared to hurt you.

Can't we be friends? Can't I get to know you well? Why are you ignoring me?! You're making me go up and down, you're making me fly high and then you're making me drown in the mud. Am I really immature in your eyes? Am I really a small kid? Am I really a xmm people really think I am?

Am I the only one the world, whose feelings aren't being expressed properly, best friend? Oh best friend, I'm confused.

And, is it really a crime to love myself?

The existence of a friend, is like a new found love.

Ignore the sims3. I forgot to keep it. :S

Bought a new book. By Meg Cabot. I guess now people are trying to do vampire books because they're the trend. I like vampire love story, one thing, it's mostly because on how they bite people, make them horny(house of night. uuwaaaa!), what they can do with their powers, and how they fall in love.

Please do not say I'm a twilight freak, though I really like the book.-ihatekristenstewart'sactingsoooomuch-

Today, we had english grammar test. Oh wee, for the last few minutes, 3/4 of the class fell asleep. Including me. Oh god, after that, I seriously couldn't concentrate during science period.

Attention, please do not follow me. I guess all of us were tired and fell asleep from the free time due to the fact we did baking. (BROWNIES!!)

I love Brownies. Like seriously, I like it most if it has chocolatey taste. Now that I know how to bake it, I won't buy anymore. Because usually the ones I buy from outside aren't up to my standard! -hahahaisoundlikesometeacherman-

Anyway. Last week friday we had Racial harmony day performance.

Can you guess whether we were going to sit down or stand up? -HAHA KADIR!!-

I'm just so lazy to do the others.

BTW. ME AND CHARLENE CHONG ARE STILL IN THE SAME COMMITEE. WTF IS THIZX. I LUV HER CAN. oh yeah, same buddy too!!!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!

Oh and, this friday we have student lounge duty. Yay, kacau time.

Peace.

I wanna be.

2010-07-25T10:56:00.003+08:00

FML. I was such a emo poser when I was only p6.

This may be unsuitable for some viewers.

I already gave you the warning okay?

just show lah.

But I already gave you the warning ):
Jush show lahh! Faster!!

Fine.
Less talking can?

I warned you.

So I was going through my old album. And seeing how much i've changed, how much i've matured or i'm still childish.

The way I take pictures have changed.
But still have act cute in them la. :p

Btw my recent photo up here, i flipped it so that there would be similarities and differences to be spot. Because my old pict, I use my 3G camera I think. Yeah should be, most prolly.

I have so much to share, but I have to go now. Goodmorning people.

-------------------

Oh this one right, someone asked me to upload so he can snagg the picture. Bleh. Hahaha.

Lucifer.

2010-07-21T16:46:00.003+08:00

For those of you who don't know, SHINee's new MV is out.

Titled Lucifer.

This is the video with transliterations and romanized too so you can sing a long.

But support them by watching this video too.

Okay so I already did a lot of screenshots yesterday. And I mean, A LOTTTT!

AND WTF MY BABY'S ARM IS SO FREAKING HOT NOW OKAY.

WTF I LOVE THIS MV SO MUCH.

And can you see the back there? The cars. SHINEE. All three cars. SHINEE!! Wow one person is gonna have the car all to himself. Baby's. duh. It's for me to get in with him. :p

day 12

2010-07-21T16:30:00.002+08:00

I'm stuck with two candidates to do this. Most probably I'll go with the early one.

Dear Christopher Wei Lun Ng,

I remember when we first met, in a pixel game. Stupid game. Though I'm still playing it. We were fine till you made me do things that I wasn't suppose to. First, I was actually lying for you to my parents, and then a lot of things happened. The reason why I used to cut, it was because of you. The pain you gave me, it was so unbearable, -well at that age la- I started cutting because of you.

The scars on my hand, this scars, will never go away. Though I have healed, it remains as a painful memory.

Each slit, each cut, each cut, it was the sins I did for you, the pain you gave me, the moaning of pleasure that was given out whenever I cut. But that was then.

Cutting myself used to give me the satisfaction of pleasure. But like I said, used. It was past. Past remains in the past. God, why was I foolishly in love with you? Though, maybe I regret, maybe I don't.

But we're friends now. We talk to each other about our favorite band, Alesana. If I didn't know you, I wouldn't have known about this band. Thanks so much.

I have no motives to pull his name down or whatsoever. It was the past, Christopher has changed, but he still keep some of himself till today. Though it may irritate me, he is a good friend. Oh well. That's life.

Day 11

2010-07-20T19:02:00.010+08:00

Today this will be dedicated to my late grandfather, Abdul Aziz, who passed on last year, 3rd day of hari raya aidilfitri. I call him Dada. Oh how I miss acknowledging him.

Dada,

Do you remember this picture? 2003, we went to india. Me, nani and you. Outside the Taj Mahal.. :)

I've been waiting for this very letter to write to you. Do you know how much I miss you? I regret not spending a lot of time with you, for your last few moments. I'm really sorry, I regret, like a lot. I regret so much, that I would just cry whenever I think about it.

Dada, I miss where you joke around with me. I really wish you could see your beautiful grandchildren changing and growing up. Especially me. I've changed drastically over the years. We didn't really meet up often. But I find myself quite matured now, from the last time I met you.

Dada, I've been learning my mistakes that I've done. It means I've done a lot of mistakes, haven't I? Please forgive my sins. I miss you very terribly. I wish you could see how grown up I am now. How I talk differently with Kala and nani. How your other grandchild, Munirah is missing you and how she is trying to cope with it.

Thank god that you are finally at peace, but.. I miss you so much.

I really wish to talk to you about Mak, how she's been behaving lately, how fair or unfair she is. I also have some questions that I didn't get a chance to ask you. I only created those questions in my heart when I am 14 or even when I realized I lost you.

When I was young,

I would complain that you are so fat. But when I saw you on hari raya last year, I really wanted to take back my words when I was young. Your health deteriorated quickly. I was speechless.
You would always come back from your badminton practice all sweaty with my favourite indian food, Putu Mayam.

When I ask for something I want, you never hesitate to buy for me.

You never fail to bring me out.

I would too most of the time stay up late watching wrestling with you. I would say, Stone Cold Steve Austin is my favourite. -Seriously. He is. Hahahaha. I lovee wrestling thanks to my late grandfather-

When I you watch TV, you would sometime -actually most of the time- fall asleep while watching it. And when I change the channel, you would be like " Eh, Dada watching right. Change back." I would get upset because you weren't even watching. Hahahaha.

I would run into your arms, before you go to work. You would stand nearer to the staircase and I would be by the gate. Getting ready to run into your arms while Nani watch me run to you.

You would than carry me and kiss me on my cheek to say goodbye.

I remembered the day where I said I haven't eat, abang Farhan ate what was left for me. You and Nani came to the rescue to buy me food, Macdonalds Fillet 'O Fish. When you left, I saw tears in your eyes. All red as you say goodbye to me in your Latio car. But that happened when I was only 11 years old. I did not cover any feelings. Any feeling of depression or whatsoever. But now as I'm older, I would cry whenever I think about it.

I hope these memories wont go away.

day 10

2010-07-20T19:00:00.002+08:00

Dear _____ ,

It's seriously hard for me to talk to you already. Even though it ended, why can't we just be friends and talk normally as how we used to? We really had a lot of things in common, and I really loveeeee to talk about it. but then, your really avoiding me whenever I tried to talk. Why?

It hurt, though, I wish you could understand that I want to be friends, just friends. Nothing more. I'm sorry to upset you.

-----

Im anticiapting day 12.

Day 9

2010-07-15T18:13:00.003+08:00

Everyone knows who I wanna meet so badly.

Dear Onew,

Almost half of the universe knows that I'm badly in love with you, with your sexy charismatic smile, your cute attitude, your duck noise, your unexpected hidden talents (etc) I've been replaying and replying you and your group latest teaser for the comeback. I'm anticipating for your moves, your body and your smile. I've been watching it over and over again because of one thing, your sexy thrusting. I know, I'm a dirty girl, but hey. I can't help myself from drooling at your sexy butt, your sexy.. -stops forawhile to think- figure. :D -LOL. I can't really say what I wanted to say right. :x LOL-

I'll stop now, because I need some good rest to dream about you. I love you onew baby.

Day 8

2010-07-14T17:00:00.003+08:00

Two people ah. They have been waiting me to post this. I think they've been waiting one whole day for me to post about them. Hahaha, suay neh. My dad confiscated my adapter again. LOL xD

My two favee internet friends. (: I know, super bias time right?

Though, I'll start with Alyssa since her alphabet comes first in in ABC. Hahaha.

Dear Alyssa,

I still remember where you talked to me on that night where you needed a "girl" talk. Though I think it ended up me telling some jokes to make you feel better. A few days later we made fan signs for each other. YEY YEY YEY. I still remember though. Me with my unglam hair. Hehe.

The fan sign you made for me. AWWW.

We knew each other back in 2007, but we didn't really talk that often till last year. I got to know you through DERRICK ROXAS, yeah that's all I know about that guy. His name is Derrick and i call him Roxas or Rock ass. Yeah. LOL. But anyways. REIKO HUNNEYYYYYYY. Hi. Happy now your on my blog? Hehehe. LOLOL.

I have one BIG question to ask.

Eh when are we gonna meet up ah? LOL
I told you it was big O_O

Dear Charmaine Eugenia Kum,

How are you? Yey your on my blog. HAHAHAHA. We've known each other since 2005 through habbohotel.sg I really thank the creator of that game for creating it! If not we wouldn't know each other to be so close talking to each other almost every day (well that was last time though.)

!AloeVera! , farhana50 aka CheatMyLife missesdieyou.

Thanks for being my love guru and you actually helped me sort out my thoughts about Bataa. Thanks for being a good friend, thanks for listening to me when I needed a bigbig ear. -HAHAHA-

Day 7

2010-07-13T19:01:00.003+08:00

Dear Bataa.

The easiest of all. Thank you for all you've done to me, and no problem to whatever I have done for you. Even though a part of me still aches whenever I think of you, I think of you no more as a friend now. Even though you don't contact me anymore because I've found out your secret, I respect your views. I know I was a very bad girlfriend for myself, but I don't really regret being with you. When I saw the truth I started to cry and wail again. But I shouldn't have. Thanks for being the "greatest" boyfriend. Though, you leave me no memory of you. Thanks.. again..

A task.

2010-07-12T16:34:00.002+08:00

WAZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP.

I know that was random but I wont just let stupid people who just make use of you and then throw you away make my mood goooooo. I don't really mind though. I guess I have to agree with Akram, I'm used to people hating me too. So I'll just give lots of love, lots of irresponsibility, lots of butch ass attitude, lots of idiotic smiles.

And if I if someone spamms my blog, obviously I know who it would be.

Though, yep people, I have to be honest,

I do photoshop my pictures, but only for scenery (:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Currently in school, Well CCA right now. Infocomm. Going through videos at SDMA. Was watching a vid "Diary" I think it seriously is good. And then there was another vid that I found it quite amusing by Unity Secondary School. DEJA VU. Yeah, okay well. Yuh. LOL.

I'll edit this post once i'm at home to post pictures or so.

Well, person, have you seen the proof that I did not photoshop my pictures? Or do you need more from real webcam? I can show you why though.

Yeah I'm phat, so? Does that mean I can't look beautiful and stunning?
Fat people are beautiful, sexy, pretty too. Do you need a hint that you all boney and saying your fat it means I'm humungously big?

I'm sorry, big girls out there, but you girls are beautiful too. Skinny ones, SUPER SKINNY ONES, are super UGLY and disgusting.

Some people are just jealous that I'm a good camwhore then them. They just dont know their good sides, right?

So yeah, why do I look so good in photos? It's because I have a good side? DUH? Why not I make a vid and show it to you guys. Okay? I'll upload it on YOUTUBE so the WHOLE world can see. I would even use that SONY VEGAS where my stupid ART PROJECT hanged for half an hour.

Note to self: If you see someone irresponsible, be responsible and tell that IRRESPONSIBLE person about his or her faults. Make him or her have an explanation before even saying the person is irresponsible. Understand, Farhana? (:

Day 6

2010-07-12T15:12:00.003+08:00

Hmm , I haven't really thought of who, but it would be short. Maybe. Okay I'm gonna make it long. IDK! LOL.

Dear Jessica Verday,

I thank you so much for writing my now favourite book of all time. I am currently obsessed with the main guy character, which is Caspian Vander (Crane as he called himself to hide from Abbey.) A beautiful teenager, age 17, died 2 years ago in that book. He sees everywhere black and white, but he sees Abbey with full of colours. The sad thing though, he couldn't touch and feel her anymore. Just only for one night. Halloween. Sad, really sad. Caspian is seriously romantic and it makes me cry to feel him as I read on. GAHAHAHA I CAN IMAGINE HIS HOT ABS. Okay -slaps myself- Farhana get a hold of yourself. Well, though, it really surprised me that it was actually about the American ghost story. (: Really surprising. I love how you leave your readers in suspense.

I'm anticipating to the book "the Haunted" in august. :D

Day 5

2010-07-11T13:09:00.003+08:00

I seriously have no clue about what I'm going to post for this day. I keep on telling people I wanna be a web designer or a writer. Actually, to be honest, I have no idea what are my dreams going to be. Sucks for me.

When I was young, I said I wanted to a news reporter. Well that was about when I was 9 years old.

As I grew older, I became more and more fascinated with the internet and it's basecoding. After awhile, I went to start reading books like Twilight, house of night and all those. Which really improved my English and my imagination. I wrote in diaries, journals, compos, online diary, blogs and even created short stories on this very blog.

But then, after getting my own digital camera, which has godly megapixels and zoom in that I was suddenly interested in photography.

Though, when I thought about it, photography and writing does mix well. So how do I go from there? From what I know, I'm really good with art things. Like decorating, drawing anime-well not soso-, colour combination, photography, writing and all those stuffs. So I really don't know what I wanted to be.

Really mixed up though. (:

Day 4

2010-07-10T09:37:00.004+08:00

I only have one brother, which is this stoopid guy here. (:

Though, my stoopid brother, Md Nur Farhan Bin Md Zulkifli is really annoying at times when he tease me, I'll still love him. We may fight a lot, but when his sister is in the need of help, when his sister is being bullied, he'd come as a big brother and care for me. He may say he hates me and he doesn't care about me, I know the fact that he does love me and care for me. Big brothers don't show their soft side. -winks-

Photoshop freak? NOT!

2010-07-09T21:07:00.004+08:00

You know what irritates me?

People who say that I photoshop my pictures when I don't.

Yes, I have to be honest, I am fat. But I accept that fact by trying to lose weight and NOT get taunt by others by calling me "fatty bom bom" "your mom so fat also ah?" (which that is a very freaking big stereotype. That's a false accusation. My mum is beautiful and thin. I just eat the food off from her. She loves me too much la, thats why me and my bro are so "healthy")

The people who usually say this(that i photoshop my picts), are people who usually smile and pose like this at the camera.

GAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. FAIL AT COPYING SOMEONE. GAHAHAHAHAHA LOL!!!!

Lips pursed and then acting cute in the camera. Most probably they have no originality so they try to act cute and all those stuffs.

Yeah well to be honest, I do love to act cute, but at least I show my teeth and smile or just smile naturally. Not by pursing my lips and then acting cute like some monkey. I used to purse my lips or something, and my mom said I looked like a monkey. I totally stopped taking pictures like that. Now whenever I see people who takes pictures like that, I would laugh quietly to myself.

So you need proof right? To see that I did NOT photoshop my picts right? Oh after this you will be so jealous that I have PURE BEAUTY :D -LOL!!!-

No cyber bully intended. This is for sharing sake. If you think that I'm talking about you, please this is just a post for readers to know that I am not a photoshop freak. Thanks :D

Btw, if I did photoshop my pictures, why didn't I photoshop the pictures in my universal studios post? Eediot.

Click on image to see it larger laaaaaa. since don't believe whaaaat.

This happens when someone updates in their facebook status saying that photoshop blablabla. I don't know why la, but I just feel like the person is talking about me. (: i'll have a photoshop issue later too.

Saengil chuka hamnida!

2010-07-09T20:52:00.002+08:00

DEAR MIMI SYAAHIRA!
Idk why people keep typing your name Syaahira wrongly when I get it so right T_T(bhb)

You have officially turned 14! No more the abang to say you "meh sineh abg ------ teman"
You are as old as him! only 1 week later. -sticks out tongue-

THIS POST IS OFFICIALY DEDICATED TO THE ONE AND ONLY MIMI SYAAHIRA.

Okay done. :D LOL

Day 3

2010-07-09T19:37:00.004+08:00

Dear mommy and daddy,

I'm sorry I'm really naggy and very the... pampered. I'm sorry for all I did for shouting and being rebelious at you two. But I just needed more and more attention since both of you are always busy. You never bring us out, and if you do, it's always at causeway point causeway point. So I whenever I ask permission from you to go out, you'd say no. I would get super disappointed.

It's a pain to find out my grandmother actually took care of me when I was a baby till i was 2 years old + where you took me back. I felt so close to my grandmother like she was my own birth mother. Hearing a painful fact that I couldn't see my grandmother and even stay over at her house just for one night, would leave me to endless tears.

I don't want to lose another one again. I want to cherish my time with my beloved grandmother. Is that really that hard? After dada passed away last year, I really regret not spending a lot of time with him. For his last moments.

I really wished I told dada this "Dada, stay strong and dont leave me till that new hospital over that is fully built where you can serve your needs. Don't leave me yet,okay?" I wish I could have said that. I wish I could have joked around with him for one last time. I wished he could see me how grown up I am now. Though, dada was really active back then, It really is hard to accept the fact that he is now gone.

Mummy, you didn't allow me when I wanted to see my own grandfather and my grandmother. It was really sad, I regret right now for not visiting him that much. I envy my little cousin Munirah being able to spend time and make him smile by her cuteness. The pictures I saw today, of my late grandfather, It saddened me to see how strong he was, and fit too. Though I would have complained to him "Dada, why are you so fat?! You are so faaaaat" when I was just only 8 years old and dada would kiss me and smile. But now, on the last day of his breath, he looked really thin, really boney. How I wished I didn't say those words saying he's so fat, how he's so healthy right now.

Mummy, don't you regret not spending time with dada? I regret. Soo.. much.

My late grandfather is fair skin, he's pakistan and he's really super tall. My mother inherit her fairness and pakistan look obviously from my grandfather. I should be fair as mummy!!

A devil in a Angel's disguise.

2010-07-08T13:11:00.002+08:00

"Because she is very irresponsible. That's why I pangseh and dao her." - unknown.
Lemme barf and laugh at this. This is so funny. sooo funny.
*sarcasm. sarcasm. sarcasm!*

Yesterday I didn't go to school because I was on MC. The doctor only gave one day MC. Today is the same, mummy is going to extend my MC because I still haven't recovered. Still coughing like mad.

I think I'm going to catch a fever soon. Sighs.
My head is throbbing really hard as I write this post. But I seriously have to post it because of SOME people who wont understand me.

I remember on Tuesday Mr Faisal went through some things with the class about Characteristics and he wanted a volunteer to write down their own characteristics.

At that moment, he chose Fadhli. But what if he chose me? I would have written down a trait and characteristic no one would know, no one would have guessed.

Have you guys ever heard of Perfectionist?

If you don't know

definition for perfectionist:

a person who is displeased by anything that does not meet very high standards

Okay what about perfectionism?

definition for perfectionism:

a tendency to expect perfection in everything one does, with little tolerance for mistakes

Well yes, I am a perfectionist, if I didn't hand in my work on time, it means I want it to be so perfect, that it would outshine you.

This trait, I've found out only about two years ago that I was a perfectionist. If I see someone's work is a step lower then mine, I wouldn't tell the person, I'd just say it in my heart and whatever but I'd lie to the person oh my god this is so nice. Well that's sometimes. I'll mean it when I mean it. But when I don't really mean it and I don't think the person doesn't really deserve to get those kind of marks, then I would seriously give the "Oh god ew this is not standard type" kind of face and give positive remarks to it.

Deep down in my heart, I hear voices whispering to me, whispering to me about things I don't really say or whatever. But yeah, I hear voices. Not my voice, A lady's voice. I know it isn't my voice, because it isn't. Sometimes I think it is my voice, but it isn't. So what about this voice? It's sickening. Seriously sickening to hear it every time. It pulls my confidence, it pulls myself down. It really does.

So this term, I wanna shine more then just a star, I want to shine as hot as the sun. If you look at me, you could go blind. That kind of shine. I really would love to shine that bright.

I know some of it wont make sense, most probably because the medicine is effecting me and my head is telling me to go to sleep and rest. -Two of my medicines will cause drowsiness. Double the drowsy man.-

---------------------------------------------------------

Irresponsible? I feel like puking.
She kicked me out of her blog after I didn't put in effort in the group. Oh for god's sake, it was last minute to find out that the other half was gone from that certain someone! you think I can finish it that fast?! If you think it's really easy to use SONY VEGAS then go ahead and use it on your comp where you keep complaining it has virus and all that crap.

What were you doing when you were at my house? Just playing my damn phone. That's all you did. Sitting on my bed with the others and play my phone. Don't say I'm irresponsible when your not a good role model yourself.

Calling people a female dog in facebook, you think that's acceptable? Your fringe is so long that it got caught by other teachers. You talk about other people and you hate it when people talk about you, so why are you doing karma? I went to her house to do it because I needed guides, it was our work, my standard and your standard as 5 wholesome is very different. Don't go around telling people that I'm irresponsible when you are irresponsible yourself.

My SonyVegas(to edit the video) freaking hanged on that night, and it was almost done. If you think it's so easy, THEN YOU DO IT. You know how hard I cried and disappointed I was when it hanged? And I was doing it for almost half a day till night? And then my parents come in and scold me asking me to stop? You think I wasn't worried ? You think I'm irresponsible for that? You even told people that my mother chased you out.

She saw you PLAYING instead of HELPING! Of course she thought you guys were over at my place for only for fun only! And until 6pm leh. I still haven't took my prayers and my dad was on the way home too. My dad wouldn't be happy if he saw you guys around at the time 6pm too. My mom was just worried that what if your parents called and all that crap? Who will be blamed? You or my mother or even Me? Have you thought of that?

And then now, you're going to recess who you made fun of, whom you always make fun of her lips and all that. Backstabber much?

Oh yeah, and you know how irritated I was when I kept following you around like a female dog to meet your ex boyfriend? That's why I always avoided going to Level 1 every time and leave you alone. Know how irritating it was? It was like I was on the leash.

And yes, I have the cheek to say this. Not being irresponsible at all. (: If you could spam and write about someone, then go ahead. I'm pointing out your flaws, I'm pointing out the things you have done wrong and calling people irresponsible when your irresponsible yourself.

The worst role model ever.

I'm so lazy to entertain you acting nice in front of me, I'd just give you the " Oh yeah? really ?" kind of face. Like "whatever" attitude with the eyes half closed. Like so interested to listen to you.

Day 2

2010-07-08T12:45:00.004+08:00

Dear crush,

To be exact, I don't really have a crush on you. I just fancy what you do, I like the way you accompany me and make me feel warm. Though we haven't really met in real life, I hope we do soon. Since you live so faaaaaarrrrr away from Singapore, I'm waiting for you to step here for a holiday/vacation. I'm grateful that I have you in my life. Cheers for being friends for more then 4 years. (:

Day 1

2010-07-07T16:25:00.007+08:00

I was forced by dear Charmaine Eugenia Kum to do this 30 day letter thingy. Since I really have nothing to do, I would have to post about it everyday.

I never really understood the definition for "Bestfriend" when I google-d it up, well this is what I got:

 the one friend who is closest to you

I always thought that it would be the one who always do things together and that crap. But nah, closest to you. I was going through my folders the other time trying to find something.

And I saw this folder.. Created when I just got my very own personal desktop. I don't really have anyone that close to me right now, how about my ex-close friends? Sure it is still counted right?

You're so gorgeous that I'd hate myself to look at you.

Dear Adilah,
A lot of people used to call us super close. I dont know, from the looks of it :D I remember when we just came back from my grandma's place and we were on the way to north point, an aunty said that we looked a like. You know how much joy was filled in me to know I looked like some beautiful girl? Hahaha. I miss hearing you purr and making me jealous of saying "R" when I can't. xD I know that is the lamest part of me, I can't say the letter "R" properly. Thank god I had you in my life, I never met such a kitten. Hahahaha. -that's actually a simile. hahahaha. you know, kitten as in a cute girl or whatever. LOL-


Dear Aini,
Thank you for being there for me when the others were offline. I know  you were going to start to get symptoms of internet addiction ever since  you started blogging. Haha :D I miss where we would start singing  random songs and all those crap. You'd even laugh when I dance stupidly  in front of the camera. Sometimes I got irritated with your laugh, but  most of the times i love it. I'm sorry that we had to fight over some stupid guy who I really don't think is worth it anymore. Thanks for being there for me when I needed  you, thanks for listening to me when I had you. (:

-Purposely chose this picture. Look is BANANAs- :P
Dear Mimi,
I really miss where we would hit each others boobs and scream. I miss where I could talk to someone about my problems and you would just listen and agreed and would sometimes give me solutions. I miss going out with you, I miss goofing around with you, I miss singing you a song like " Mimi~ -ring ding dong tone-" I miss gossip-ing with you about kpop. I always love to see you passionately talk about your CCA and making me drool over your brother *in a fanatic way. haha*  I miss you.

This post is not to seek attention, but whatever I said, it was true from my heart. I said with honesty and no lies. (:

Thanks for being my friends.

Universal Studios!

2010-06-27T11:55:00.004+08:00

Teng teng teng teng teng teng teng teng!

Now the pictures to universal studios!
Note: This is a picture spam post and there are tons of photos. 100+ So please wait for the photos to load. Thank you.

First went out makan at Teh Tarik makan house.
After that we were on our wayyyyyyyy!

But unfortunately, mummy only had 3 tickets. And when we got there, the tickets were sold out. -sobs- But! Mummy called up her friend if she could buy her tickets instead. Mummy's friend is so kind. If not daddie couldn't go in, and he took the day off on that day just to go universal studios with us. :D

So this was before, one more ticket please!

Yeahh one more ticket! 4 tickets. woots!

And we're in! Teeheee.

The Souvenir storeee.

Mummy anxiously wanting to take a picture in front of the store.

Oo wee, whose this? :D

Familyy :3

Daddie was really excited.

Oh.. this was just random. :o

I SEE NACHOS! ROAR!

I like this picture. Don't you?

Oh look whose that suppose to be?

Marilyn Monroe! She looks more to Katy Perry though. Very pretty.

I like her!! I didn't really wanna take a picture with her though.

Mummy all excited :o

Look at bro. Hahahaha.

Really wanted to ride on this.. But it was shut down for a year.. Sad.

Another shot.

Walk and walk and walk and then we found this ride. Accelerator.

Looked fun so we queued up.

Wee!

Me and mummy~

Bro yet again!

I love the ride there!! Not the car thingy, but the one in the tomby thingy. LOL

Hahaha look at bro!

Daddie is botaak!

Waiting in line for the farfar away rollercoaster. It was a bit scary, but then after the whole thing, I got adrenaline rush. Hehehe.

After that went to eat. Look at mummy. -_-

Camwhore session. Tons of them XD

My Classic cheese burger. But anyway, you know what? Popeyes is still better. The food there is just filling. -_-"

I lovee the prickles!

Do you spot anything?

Yeah Madagascar dude :o Actually not dude, skele :o

Look at mummy. LOL.

We watched it later on of the day.~

Waterworld! Oh look up, it's the canopy flyer, which was my last ride of the day.

The actors are really friendly and the audience were co-operative.

They kept on splashing water at us. -chuckles- People sitting at the blue benches would get really wet. Even soaked! We sat on the green benches. Not really that wet.

It started.

There was real fire and explosions!

Don't you love my camera at times like this?

The BAAAAAAAAD guy.

The girl is the good one!

WTF LOOK AT HER MUSCLES!

It was really funny too.

AHHHHH! Okay that's all I got cuz my battery was running low. Saved for other shots.

The dude in red and white flowers is extremely cute! I kept trying to get shots of him.

They were doing Hairspray dance moves and songs.

Ahh the red guy is so cutee!!!

Btw this was taken while queuing up for Monster Rock :D

So cutee la can?!

After the monster rock musical, went the Mummy's Return ride or smth.

wait noooo. Went to this first and then mummy ride.

Hehe

The queue is like a maze.

Aww.

Why cammie so pixelated?! ): Cuz no flash =.=

After that went for mummy's return ride!!

So exciting!!

Omg whats with my face?!

Went to put things and all and we had a blast! Super fun! The Mummy ride was awesome! It was dark though. Just felt it.

After the ride. I LOVE THIS PICTURE SOOO MUCHHHH.

He's hot right? Whaaaaaaa!

HAhahaha bro is so cute.

Bro as me to take a pict.. but then..

HAHAHAHA :D Nice one! Random passerby ^^

And then out we go ): The main entrance.

Me and bro. Heh.

Me ending off with my new cap bought from universal studios! me luv!

Questions? Ask me awayyyyyyy at my tagboard! (:

How did you know?

2010-06-25T00:30:00.003+08:00

You found me, when no one else was looking.

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't help but crying. I hugged you even tighter as you embraced me in your arms. You came to my rescue again, just when I needed help, comfort and love. I can't thank you much more. I don't know how I'm feeling anymore. Whenever I see you, whenever our eyes met, I just felt a spark and had to look a way. What was that feeling? What was going on? I had no clue. Am I secretly in love with you? I didn't really care about those thoughts that fail me back then. But now? It just confuses me more. My heart felt warm with you close to me. You were there to wipe away my tears, you were there when I needed comfort, you were there when I needed help, you were there instead of him. Where were you when I needed you instead of him?
You only came to my rescue when I needed him and he isn't there. Where were you when I needed you..?

Yes that was a short story. Mostly p.o.v. Not really emotions or feelings.. Just inspired from a book I read. The last part where a guy, saved her from falling down, again.

Oops I missed it? Oops I missed it is a new column where I've missed out things and I forgot to update them or blog them. (:

A Short Story I forgot to update one. It was a seriously old one. Back then. I was going through my posts when this came up. Click here.

I'll post tomorrow morning for the pictureees!

For Universal Studios first (: I know some of you are dying how the place looks like, right?

I can't let it show.

2010-06-22T10:41:00.003+08:00

I won't fall out of love.

I don't see why is it so unfair for a person who knows you just for a day, stereotype you saying your immature? And says that he/she grew up and telling you that your a small kid and you have not seen the real world.

To be honest, this person has not really grew up, yet. Please do not call me immature or mature. Like you said " I think you need to grow up." I am growing up. So you really don't need to make conclusions saying I am immature. When you said I need to grow up. I even state after that I am growing up. I was being sarcastic and was joking when I said "your mean... a mean mean person.. " I guess it really does hurt when you say someone ugly.

When you said someone is ugly, your really hurting the person's feelings. Who wouldn't? You were saying it without sarcasm, yet I was joking around and said with sarcasm and "immaturity" saying your mean. And after that you said "the world is mean and cruel. you don't know anything" or whatever shit. So if the world is mean and cruel, your trying to add on the mean and cruelty?

So you are already grown up, started working and yet your sitting around playing a pixel? My parents who are grown ups, they just nag at me saying why am I wasting my time playing that pixel game that we both play. So you've grown up and all those stuff?

I see.

Readers, I don't really see how this person is being fair by judging me after one day. Instead of knowing me well, he asks me sexual questions which is quite irritating. I don't know why am I even entertaining you. Why are you asking me sexual questions when your attached? -takes a glance at your Facebook profile and your relationship status. In a relationship with _____ - Hah?

FYI, yeah I'm still growing up. Maybe I am immature and mature. Who knows? I just play the game because to release stress. Not cause any troubles. Yet you come and piss me off. And thanks, I was having my pms. Double the scolding. -scoffs-

-----

My love for you can't be described in a dictionary. I mean seriously. :O

Me: Mami who is he?
Guy: I am human.
Me: I asked who is he not what is he. F3
Guy: -.-
Me: -LOLing in real life-

I can't post about Universal studios right now. I'll do it next time. Well maybe tomorrow.

D.I.Y Henna on my leg.

I took both of my feet cuz I painted my left leg with henna :P LOL

Woooo. Nice? Well it is amateur i know Dx

Well on Saturday went for holiday with family and my Atok Busu and Nek Busu.

First night stayed over at some homestay chalet in Malacca. Thank god got wifi to let me play GodFinger and msn with (L)Ferozd.

But second night we stayed in some budget resort in Port Dickson. The water was dirty, the rooms aren't taken care of well.. and all that stuff. The next morning we saw birds bathing themselves in the pool. Oh my god, that's so damn unhygienic. I seriously don't wanna stay there again.

I'll post the pictures later.

jag älskar dig

2010-06-17T12:08:00.006+08:00

ik houd van jou en ik mis je.

The dream still haunts me every time, everyday, every minute and every second I think of you. The truth was that I never got tired of you, I never got tired of you telling me how much you love me and how beautiful I am. Now, I regret losing you. A cold pain memory.

SNAP I FORGOT TO PUT IN MY INITIALS! oh well.

Haven't Audi-ed in ages. Like... ever since I got on maple? Hahaha.

Why are people joining back audition when I play back maple? So weird.Mei msn-ed me today saying that she downloaded audi, and then yesterday Alyssa msn-ed me too saying that she downloaded audi for fun too. I was like "O.O WTF."

Mondayyyyyyyyy!
Monday went out with Clarissa, Fiona, Joyce and Sheralyn. We went out to do art project. Ugh so tiring. I was the last one to arrive. Duh-uh. I woke up late. Like... 7.50. Text Sheralyn on the way to Boots n Shoes. And then went off to China town. Blablabla, took pictures and stuff. And then went inside a temple. Well yeah it was really quiet and peaceful there. Very interesting to learn their religion. I didn't know there was a lot of buddhas. Well I know now.

Tuesday.
Went over to Sheralyn's house to do the project. Fail, we didn't do much. Hahahah. Shorelle was all excited when she saw me. Well I was scared, I thought she was angry or something. But when Sheralyn told me she was actually excited, I was like "Oh yeah. It make sense now why she keeps on jumping and wanting to go out." Well in my head. FYI, Shorelle is sheralyn's doggeh.

I'm learning so many I love you's in different languages. -scoffs-
I asked Pin yiyi what is "I love you" and then it's "ik houd van jou" yeah well I memorized it.To pronounce it, you just need to say "ik hou van jou" The language in Netherlands is dutch. I found out when Ferozd was curious of my pm and then we were talking on the phone and he told me he went to google translate it and it's dutch. I didn't know. hehe.

Saranghae , joahae
Te amo ,Te quiero
ik houd van jou
wo ai ni
jag älskar dig
Je't aime

Next post will be about...

Yeah, universal studios. (:

To be closer to you, I stalk you every day..

Jag hatar inte dig men det smärtsamma faktum är att jag älskar dig

Impossible.

2010-06-07T15:03:00.005+08:00

Omg I'm so irritated with people saying Alesana as A-le-sana when it's pronounced as Alice-Anna.
Well not infront of me, but in youtube videos to see their covers and stuff.

SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT.SHIT I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE MORNING READING ARTICLE THE SCHOOL GAVE US WAS ON THE OVAL PORTRAIT BY EDGAR ALLEN POE! CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP!

No wonder when everyone was talking about Edgar Allen Poe

Annabel Lee

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my Annabel Lee;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
My beautiful Annabel Lee;
So that her highborn kinsman came
And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
Went envying her and me-
Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know,
In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And the stars never rise but I feel the bright eyes
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling- my darling- my life and my bride,
In the sepulchre there by the sea,
In her tomb by the sounding sea.

Edgar Allen Poe

Poem was not written by me but Edgar Allen Poe. (:

Guess whut. can you guess?

I'm giving you 30 seconds to guess.

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Still can't guess?

Well...

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I'm going to malaysia on the 19th of june for a holiday. Yeah that's it.

---------------------------------

Char kuey Bakar! Mmm! now sold at my little genie. I'm so happy!!

Yeah well that's my fave because it's spicy. Rawr. -does a claw action-

Misconception.
Life gets boring after your friends leave you for something stupid, life is so dull because your feelings couldn't be shared or spoken out. Your heart says you love him, your heart tells you don't. Your mind is telling you things that opposite. Things change around you. Things change. Lovers to enemies. Friends to strangers. Pain to satisfaction.

I need you now.

2010-06-05T19:39:00.003+08:00

You make me scream ice cream. - LOL. okay so I was bored.

It was so oblivion to everyone else, yet you couldn't see. I wailed in my sleep trying hard to clear you from my head. Even the tiniest tiny detail of you, all the memories would rush back into my head. Come back to me, now.

Woooosh. That picture was taken two nights ago. I was just so bored that I started tying my hair up in a "act cute" way. HAHA. Took it with my mom's webcam. (:

I know I haven't been blogging lately. It's because I don't go out. Most probably next week I'll have tons of photos to share. I'm even lazy to upload my photos on facebook because the uploading sucks. It keeps on saying "uploading fail" which irritates me to the MAX!

I wonder if anyone has the same problem too.

Anyways, just uploaded a new blogskin. Which was my previous blogskin. Help support by downloading and rating alright? (:

P.S, to rate you need to have an account. So make an account for the sake of me if you don't have one! :D

Latest blogskin

Well right now I'm getting ready to go out with family. Peace! Will update later, if I'm not lazy enough.

Fairly you have forgotten.

2010-06-03T00:38:00.003+08:00

When you look me in the eyes, don't you feel the humane warmth in them?

I handed you a knife and my heart, and now the dream is over.

Love Shane Crump and Shawn Milke's icon? Download here.

Soon because of boredom, I'll be doing SHINee's and Alesana's icons. I have to get back on track with the korean world. Yeah, I mean seriously. I'm so outdated with songs. Someone update me alright? hehe.

My readers are all gone because I have nothing much to share. -sad- I should start making blogskins again. When I'm free. Actually I have all the time in the world. I should start now with some of Alesana's icon.

Should I make a vintage skin or chic? No idea. But whenever I wanna make a vintage skin, it turns out chic. Weird.

Well come back tomorrow or today for more updates. Posted this around 1am.

Alesana's pictures does not belong to me. The icon has been edited by me, only me and editing credits goes to me. The picture goes to it's rightful owner.

We could count the stars and disappear

2010-05-31T10:27:00.006+08:00

OMG ITS SHANE CRUMP!

You didn't need to ask me whether I showed him or told him. You already know the truth, you cheating prostitute.

Like the picture? Link for w/o photoshop-ed. Link for edited.
Photo credits: Randomparad-e.

Infront of me, infront of my eyes, your screaming of disgusts on your hand that revealed my trace shows me that you find me filthy. Aren't you even filthy to spit at people?

The Korean wave over me is over, I'm totally falling for Alesana again. SHINee still lives in me, I don't really go high whenever I see them because of the stupid posers that turned me off. SG Shawols seriously are such a turn off.

I don't go like "100% Korean Fan" like those fake people are. So what if your stating you are a 100% true korean fan? Do you even know all the past entertainers? You don't right? Do you know all the comedians? You don't right? All you know is Star Golden Bell and Star King. That is true korean fan? Oh please.

Respect music, respect other genres. But if that song is trying to be that certain genre, and it's a poser, you can scold all of it all if you want. It doesn't deserve a spot.

I (L) Shawn Milke&Shane Crump

Shawn's swaying at 1:03 is effin cute. I seriously can't tell if it's Patrick or Jake doing the 3x guitar swing at 1:13. Someone identify it for me okay. I love Jeremy's hair here. Woosh. So hot. Who was at 0:34? Someone tell me someone tell me. I can't identify them here T_T LOL. I'm actually guessing that's Jake.

SHANESHANESHAWNSHAWN.SHANESHANE.SHAWNSHAWN!!!

Info on Alesana. My views and my own recognition to understand and find them.

Shawn Milke- CLEAN SINGING. Normal singing duh. And screaming vocals. he also plays the guitar and the piano Oh hottie. 2004- present
Patrick "Peezee" Thompson - Lead Guitar, Backing vocals too. he's the shortest XD. 2004 - present
Dennis "Denny Diablo" Lee - The dude who was painted in black in the thespian. Screaming vocals 2004 - present
Jeremy Bryan - Their drummer. I like his hair in Ambrosia 2005 - present
Shane Crump - OH MY HOT SEXY BOYFRIEND. BASSIST! 2008 - present
Jake Campbell - Lead guitar, backing vocals. The dude who did the 3x guitar spin. Confirmed. I think XD 2008 - present.

Behind the scenes.
Sources:
Shane Crump's picture found on google.com , edited with photoshop cs4 extended to make it into an icon and edited the effects myself.

So on friday till Sunday I didn't blog because I had camp. It was really fun.

It took us around 5 hours to reach to Kota Tinggi because of the heavy traffic from tuas checkpoint to malaysia's check point. I don't know what part, my bad.

I regretted not bringing my book to read. And guess who sat next to me the entire journey? Jeremy Tok. =.= LOL.

I shall continue this on my next post. I'm really lazy to talk about it.. Especially the last night.

Then this is what I call revenge.

2010-05-26T16:19:00.003+08:00

Locking our fingers under the blue sky on the lemonade grass.

I'm totally struck by Alesana's new album. Okay sorry lah, I so outdated. I only knew The Thespian before their whole new album came out. But I didn't know the other new songs.

The songs are somehow linked. I noticed when I listened to their new song Anabel, and then after that The Curse of the Virgin canvas.

Crap everything is linked. I don't know what chapter is The Thespian. I wanna know the first chapter. Well I'm gonna do my whole research tonight. Actually I've found it, but it wont load. Hell right?

Alesana lives in my head, in my body.

Yesterday and Monday, had NE Camp. Lots and lots of pictures gonna be uploaded in facebook. DAY 1, which is Discovery Science Centre, yeah well uploaded them already.

No, sorry if it made you perasan. Didn't really point at you. But thanks for clarifying the matter up in your blog too :) And I do not wanna start a fire too haha. Well you are giving me hints that you like him, well its true, you like him. But I did know that you weren't with Khairul. But not really with H**** too, but I was just too shocked that you talked to me so I guess I didn't think when I said my words. Those words or blog post wasn't for you. But it's good you tried to clarify it. There goes another true fact for me. Haha.

Oh peesh paw,
To that 'paikia girl'(actually a wannabe who uses her boyfriend as a threat to whoever bully her. She will be like "You better watch out because I will call my boyfriend to beat you up.") who kept talking about my iPhone, GROW UP! Your samsung touchscreen phone that nice? I know I'm the only iPhone user in the class, thank you. I'm a gamer for gods sake and for those people who are talking about my iPhone behind my back, then just screw off man. Do you use internet frequently? Do you need a big data storage? Then stfu would you? Eh I talk about you in malay can? If you can gossip about me and scolding me with your filthy mouth, then I wanna taint back the words at you. FATTY BOMBOM? You call me that?

IN YOUR FACE!

Eh I still remember you scolding me, "Please stop all your childish acts." Oh so now your backfiring your words eh? Stop being a hypocrite, please thank you. Being nice to others and use people as you want. But when their souls are gone, when their presence are never near, your sweet words are tainted by that filthy mouth of yours. The other side of you.

"Sometimes whenever you talk to me in a normal tone, I ask myself if you miss me."

Its hard for me to see.

2010-05-22T21:13:00.004+08:00

"Oh betrayal! I screamed your lies, I screamed your secrets, I screamed your one of a kind attitude, I screamed your name! You never deserve to get that treatment, you never deserve to get that kind of luck! You shall pay the damage you have done with interests of 500%. Now I shall show you my nice middle aging finger. Do you know what that means? Of course you do! It's a sign of a standing bridge!"- Farhana Zulkifli

On the way to Johor. Stuck in a jam. Well it still moved, but slowly.

Credits soooooooo goes to me for the icon. Took it at banquet. Kimchi fried rice! I love it. Craving for it actually.

Anyway, I know you guys are curious about my new camera because I didn't post crap about my birthday. well here.

Lumix TZ10, Panasonic.

Was told from the person that the lens is currently number 1 in Germany. Which I think is a good thing. Hahaha. Well actually it's awesome.

It can seriously zoom in to x16! I'll show you some examples.

Took the pictures on the way to send Clarissa home. Well not home, but the bus stop to send her home. Yeah! :D

16x zoom-ed in

Normal mode.

I was pointing to Clarissa on the church. THAT Church being whateverlized. I forgot the word xD

She told me she couldn't see so I zoomed in for her.

Daddie I want a Canon DSLR ):

anyways tomorrow I have madrasah. I have to sleep soon.

You don't believe I do have?!

PROOF!
(its just an excuse to show off.)

Waiting.

This is iffah :D
Oh snap I got caught for eating.
Humaira ^^
LIYANAAAAAAAA. LOL. This is in Ngaji class ^^

Okay off now. Bye.

I know your mad(crazy)

2010-05-20T20:12:00.004+08:00

Oh look, whose this? Clarissa (:

Yesterday and today, I really had a fun day.

I heard the most funniest, the most insane joke of the year I think. Song Jing's answer was epic and funny.

His answer for the Q: Why do pregnant woman frequently goes to the toilet?
or something like that.

Answer: It is because when the pregnant woman has sexual intercourse, the penis is inserted inside the vagina and the bladder is squeezed and gets smaller.

Yesterday babeh Clarissa came over to my house to teach me how to do the microsoft excel thing. In then end she also dont know. HAHAHA. Nevermind, at least we had fun. I taught her how to use photoshop and all that. Oh you know, the basic (:

But at least she knows I don't really photoshop my pictures.

Today had Investiture rehearsal. It was fun. I mean seriously. I was super hyper with Clarissa. All because of the Butt thing. Hehehehe. LOL.

Then she go flick my ear very hard. Roar. LOL.
So bad sia she T_T. Sheertoopeedz! girlfriend. LOL.

Shall post more tomorrow.. I need to edit my pictures vintage.. but I'm on my dad's lappie. -sad-
Goodbye my readers.

Windows casts your gentle reflection

2010-05-19T14:22:00.003+08:00

Currently in school. Just snagged this picture from Charmaine's blog because I seriously need a damn picture right now to not make this picture look so plain. Ohh yeah!

I touch your lips and stare in your eyes
You smile and it makes me fly
You are the reason my heart beats
Tonight it's just you and me...

Hell yeah I'm gonna quit audi anyways. Yeah I spent my money on some game. Oh well, who cares about you now. I seriously had enough. No one asked it, you thought about it. Now you shall be gone.

My tattered heart is burning from all your words, all your lies. Now, can you please go away with your other friends? Please thank you.

When you have no friends, you come talking to the person you dont talk or you pangseh-ed for a very long time now. When your with your friends you act like nothing happened, like you never talked. Hell, what are you?

Anyways readers!

I got 32/100 for my MT. WOOHOO AWESOME.

And you know what, I noticed two people who gossiped about me on facebook about it too *-*
They even called me someone *-*

I feel so touched that I'm so perasan right now. -laughs-
Okay I shall go die nao. Bai.

Emotions are spilling.

2010-05-18T18:07:00.003+08:00

2nd post of the day.

"These feelings are screaming inside of me, they wannna run to you and whisper in your ears saying those right words they are made up for. I wish to say I hate you a thousand times, but the painful truth is that I love you."

Ilovethispictureofhersomuch
Thankyou female dog!

I was super down until Sheralyn talked to me and made my day. I love you baby girl! LOL!

I should have treated that as nothing, I shouldn't have believed in you. I really need to have a break. Do you know how much you mean to me? How much I love you? How much I dearly miss you? How much jealousy that has been building up in me because of you?

Talking with Christopher right now,
Hey dude, cheer up alright? Everything will be over soon. She'll answer your calls, she will fall for you. I'll pray for the best.

So hey, I'm chatting with him, and then we were talking about Alesana since he was the one who introduced them to me in 2007. They totally rock man. I SWEAR!

And I didn't know Alesana's new song has a damn music video! ROAR! AND IT'S EFFIN NAISE!

Alesana for life! \m/

"I hear people screaming, I see people dying. My hands covered with rich thick liquid. I'm thirsty for more."

I could dream.

2010-05-18T10:36:00.004+08:00

Pissed off with people who keep thinking I photoshop my own pictures to make me look slimmer.

Ah?

Are you sure?
Please, I have originality okay.

I didn't go to school today because I was sick. So I hope everything is okay for duty and I hope I wont miss out things for today's IT lesson.

Really bored at home. Christopher text me yesterday and I forgot to text back. And today when I woke up from my sleep, I straightaway message him. Well, the dream was kinda weird. I swear.

Boyfr has a facebook account, now I can't go flirt with my girls D: HAHAHA. Kiddin'

Will post later.

I needa go bathe and take my med. I've been sneezing like mad since yesterday!

Like it like that.

2010-05-17T19:51:00.005+08:00

I just wanna fly far far away from here.

Today, I can tell you that I wasn't really controlling my anger that well. Most probably I'm really irritated with Setan lin..

Hello 'paikia' wannabe, why are you threatening to beat people up? Have you got a life?
I still remember in Msn where you told me "Stop with all your childish acts" so maybe calling people to beat up other people is called mature? Just because you wanna tell people you are big and you wanna settle things the immature way, is that how you do it?

Sighs, today got news that Mdm Goh is resigning. Sad die :(
This is her last term with us. Sighs, I hope I can snap some pictures of her on Wednesday. Hopefully...

So will Mr Elango be our permanent Co-Form teacher? I hope so, because the class is getting out of hand, I can tell you that. -sighs-

To all Kesha haters who thinks she is copy Lady Gaga, get a life.

If she really is trying to copy Lady Gaga, her style is totally different then hers alright? Kesha's genre is totally DIFFERENT from Lady Gaga's. So stop saying she's copying Lady Gaga.

And I'm telling you, not everyone is copying Lady Gaga or is trying to copying Lady Gaga.

ONE video is just simple.

Ashlee Simpson - Out of my head (Ay Ay Ay)

SATISFIED?

Not everyone is trying to like Lady Gaga. This video was done before Lady Gaga was even so popular. 2007. In your face you haters!

Charmaine Valentina,

Grow up, your seriously like some big child.
You didn't even appreciate what I've done to you.
Next day talk to me with no sincere. NO THANKS?
Thanks for the not thanking! NAH! I showed you courtesy. Where's mine?

Grow up man, I mean SERIOUSLY.

P.S It's not you Charmaine Kum!

Bonamana

2010-05-15T12:56:00.005+08:00

Johorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

When will you appreciate for what I did? It's not all about you, alright? Stop being such a whiny brat. Just because your younger doesn't mean you have to get everything you want on that spot. Already kind enough to do it for you, still wanna act like your buay song? Grow up would you?

Hello people, I'm going to johor again today! Excited. Gonna see my real grandmother, mum's side. (:

(Y) awesome.

I love the beauty of open areas, the clear blue sky. It's really beautiful to take snaps of 'em.

God I miss the beautiful sky. Going to see them today! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Will take lots of pictures. *-*

Tata now.

A touch of poison seals my fate

2010-05-14T23:36:00.008+08:00

Do you see the awesome posters at the back?
P.S, John a.k.a LordKingPumpkinHead is my gaiaonline friend (: Did fansign for his birthday.

What I did today,

Gaia, Photography, Fansigns and more photography.

Fansigns are really a popular thing in Gaia y'know? (:

Since Wei Xiang was at chalet today, didn't play audi for one whole day. Except for one situation..

Just now around 8 or 9 , steadie Charmaine a.k.a Resilience msn-ed me saying that she was getting married. I was like "WTF. OKAY COMING." And then when I tried to launch the game, it didn't load. I had to restart my computer so I text steadied saying that I needed to restart my desktop. She said okay and also what channel. So I restarted and then again it couldn't launch. After one more restart, it finally could load.

Was on the phone with boyfriend when I was scolding the computer the hurry up. I kept on saying "Computer faster la faster la! My steadie getting married ley. WOITZX." I seriously have no idea why I was talking to the computer. LOL.

1st round failed, one more heart :(

2nd round passed ;smiles
Requirements for each failed attempt are lowered. 3 attempts in total. So they passed in their 2nd attempt.

Second round!

Entrance. Woo hoo I see my acc. 2nd one from the left. Opposite teddeh. wtbBride and groom! Woosh :D
I think I ss-ed this for me to blog that they were left with 1 heart and 1 perf. awesome

They passed (: Finally!

Getting ready to take picture :D

Grats Mr and Mrs Pokeh *-*

Look whose next to meh?!! TEDDEH. WTB.

So this whole day I was watching videos and doing whatever sheet of paper. Yep.

Some pictures on the day of my birthday.

I don't know, posting up for boredom I guess?

my cutey cousin. She wore and awesome skirt. It was from Australia. Nice eh?

Guess who I was talking to on my birthday? Oh yeahhhhh!
Hey it's my wall :D

Taemin's poster kept on falling T_T I hope that's not a bad sign ):

Okay that's all for sharing. Bye.

Oh yeah btw one last video! I haven't shared videos in a while.

This is freaking funny. HAHAHA. I love the effects.

Bye now.

Now let's copy poker face.

2010-05-12T13:53:00.005+08:00

"Hotstuffs no longer live because one by one, we're leaving.
So why still link?" - Farhana Zulkifli is asking Aini Syuhadah Amid.

Image up there was done by me, Randomparad-e / LadySuka (:

Whenever I visit Charmaine's blog, I would love to listen to a song called "Use Somebody" a cover by Pixie Lott. Original singer Kings Of Leon.

Charmaine once stated in her blog that she blog because when she grows older 10 - 25 years later (Babe, the world is gonna end in 2 years time. So, no point. HAHAHA. Kiddin.), she would read whatever she has posted and observing how much she has changed.

It's true, I think that's a fun fact about you!

Well now I'm gonna tell about why I blog, I love sharing, well on certain parts only. Okay that sounded wrong in a way but oh well. Dont forget the part where I want to express my feelings. Yes express my feelings. But those feelings that I really really need to express and need to be direct is my private blog. That's where I rant my secrets. Well currently only two people have access to view it. \m/ because they rock.

After thinking about the fun fact I've learnt about Charmaine, I think I would do that too. See how much I've changed. And when I re-read my past, oh yeah I have changed. But now, well maybe I want some of it. The happier side of me.

Lately I've been polite and happier then I used to. That's a good thing. (y)

----------------------------------------------------

Oh do you guys know what I started back playing audition? ;smil

And married nao D:

Our sexy butts! Especially mine.

Yeah I restarted a new account as you can see. ;shy

The history of Wei Xiang's Ign. I don't know if before PIAKDADALI~ got change or not.
PIAKDADALI~ > LordSuka > XeaL~

-.- Alot of people thought I remarry. D: LOL

Today played with gan steady, Resilience and her daddie Requires to tag me and wx's hearts.
I think 50 more hearts then can do Love Party. Ring Upgrade! Woosh!

Red vs Blue. We Pwn. LOL

Wedding Party~

2nd may. ;smiles

I SEE DAYA. ;wild I SEE KIRA SCANDAL! ;wild

I got back some skill of mine. Well some only. It's really irritating when WX always pwns me in 160+ bpm. T_T Go die la bi T_T LOL.

Megaaaaaaa.

Okay I seriously have nothing else to post. Will post some random edits later on. Post later. -waves-

"Painful memories echoed in my head. The pictures projected in my eyes. They were so vivid. I clenched my fist when I saw their smiles. Their beautiful faces. Tears trickled down my cheek as I recalled those days."

Click. Click.

2010-05-10T18:40:00.006+08:00

Woohoo the quality of my new camera just rocks.

I'm officially 14 and 4 days old! Wow. Triple die? -laughs- Chinese people should know what I mean. ;shy

Well, geography test paper, I flunked it. Totally flunked it.

On my Birthday,

had Maths paper 2, duh. -scoffs- I was seriously having a damn headache and had a stiff neck. Tried to concentrate. But couldn't Heeeeehe. LOL.

After exam, went to wait for my aunt, Kala (that's aunt in pakistan i think O_O) and waited for her and then got into her car. Her car's air-con is so awesome to the max!

I have lots of pictures to upload, but just view them in facebook I guess. ;shy
I already uploaded them in facebook and it's so damn tiring. LOL.

This saturday, actually wanted to go out and celebrate my birthday with my family but, my granduncle, dad's side passed away, so yeah. Had to go to Johor. On the way there I took awesome pictures.

After that went to Mamalina's house *my aunt*.

Then after that too went to Nek Anjang's house. My grandaunt. WALAAAAAAO!

The kampung was so awesome. LOL.
There were cats and kittens. I played with them to overcome my phobia. YES :D

They were fighting. Cute right ;shy

Oh uh so cuteee!
My fave! you know what, It was actually running away from me. When I stood infront of him/her with my camera out, it posed like that innocently for me and I got a great shot of THIS!

CUTE RIGHT?! :D It was actually yawning or smth. Super cute!

I shall go now.

You've changed, I've changed.
I hate you, you dislike me.
Do I really care about you now?
It has faded, well good then. It faded :)

(inserts name), I really really hate you.

(inserts name), you too, could you be faithful?

(inserts name), I miss you.

(inserts name) ALYSSA MY FACE IS OILY! Obviously the inserts name here is for alyssa only. dont get the wrong idea, the other each insertname is some other people. ;shy LOL

(inserts name) grow up. Stop using racist jokes. It's not funny.

(inserts name), I love you.

A little time.

2010-05-05T23:07:00.005+08:00

Babey Babey.

I shall take this time to dedicate my last few minutes of being 13. Once again, I'm turning 14 on 6may.

And on 6may, I have an exam paper to sit for. That exam is Maths Paper 2. Right now, I'm brainstorming. Trying to recall whatever Ms Suba has said. God I really regret not writing down the answers.

It is a confirm that tomorrow, when I sit for the paper, I will regret lots of things. Because I don't understand poop.

Well anyways, hello my ums. Dead blog. I don't know if there are some living readers there. -laughs- They went to betray on some other dude/dudette ):

Burned is out! House of night series #(noidea) is out! Awesome man. Alieff has been begging me to lend him my Eclipse book. I don't know if I should lend it to him. I have this kind of feeling you know.... LOL. Like, I don't really have the mood to share. *shrugs*

I have 3 unread books. 2 incomplete. And currently addicted to reading Burned. Hehe.

Pens I bought for the exams coming up. I checked in my pencil box the other day, my pens were running on low ink. Hell!

New bag mummy bought for me~ Me likey.

That's all. I'm gonna spend my time with maths and staring at Onew's beautiful smile. -sticks tongue out-

Night readers/dead blog.

So it's the same!

2010-05-02T20:15:00.005+08:00

15% done. LMAO.

So isn't the same if you really don't like what you see, just bugger off? You say you don't care, then don't post in your blog luh. Your another one wanna be so prsan thinking it's you for what? (:

Neh, eat your own words!

YES I'M SMEXY TO THE BOOMZ. BOOBZ.

Yuh uh, you heard of retribution? I think I'm doing it on you. :B
OH MY GOD SOMEONE JUST TALKED ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND.
Geez, why do you care? Before you tell people to take care of theirs' , you take care of yours first 'kay!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey guys, I know it's been a long time since I had an interesting topic to post about. Usually now a days it's about those "friends".

So heard of this word, Insults?

Yes, do you know after you get insulted sometime, you would feel a bit of humiliation or totally humiliated? Some people don't really feel humiliated at all because of one thing, EGO. They say other people have it and they think they don't really have it and then they go gossiping about other people saying this and that. Saying she's a bitch saying he's a whore. YEAH! Something like that. That's ego. Well not really. There are so many ways that someone can be VERY ego.

I have a lot of examples.

Example 1.1,
A calls B whiteboard can. But B heard that A calls B whiteboard, so B got mad and ranted to his/her friends and gave A a new nickname, lizard. A got fed up and just said "Who cares, call me whiteboard all you want uh."

HAHAHAHA. THIS IS PATHETIC. This is called KARMA man.

Example 1.2,
D says he/she doesn't like the attitude of E and ignores and also gossip about E. E finds out, E too confesses that she/he hates D's attitude on somewhere, blog or someone else. D still ignored E in every way she/he can. In the end, D's clique hated his/her attitude too and ignored him/her.

Isn't that a pathetic story? LOL.

Nahh, this is either point of view or experienced it.

Readers, don't you think it's really stupid?

Anyway now about friends who has been really kicking my ass.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This was back then, not now. We used to hold each other very tightly. Never wanting to let each other go. All the pain, all the tears I've been holding back is now left out as I type/write this words to you. Because not only have I given you pain, you have given me pain too. So don't think your the only one too.

Whats is with that sarcastic laugh you gave when Mr Yeo said Mongolian? NEHHHH. It made me laugh too, you know?' cause it was so god damn fake! SO FAKE. SO PLASTIC!

Yeah I know my ex boyfriend is a Mongolian, so? Your jealous that you didn't have an ex mongolian boyfriend? You keep saying chinese people never bathe and all and then you gather information and gossip with other chinese people who you say don't bathe at all? HEH?

You think you what? The queen of gossips? Hey you heard of karma, bootch? I guess you didn't.
You call people yao guai like it's none of your business. If it's none of your business, then don't need call people la. I'm learning from you what, you spam about people in your blog, I also spam about you!

HELLO GROW UP!
I got really irritated when you guys say that Chinese people never bathe and all that. Then you what? Minah tak menjadi? Minah that CMI (cannot make it) ? Yeah uh, I actually have quite a number of Chinese friends. Thats why I got really irritated.

You guys said all the things you hated about me, well did you even give me a month to change? HELL NO BABEH. You gave me a week to be irritated with, to scream at and all that stuff.

Yoohoo, I changed my place my problem lah ehk. Your boyfriend Khairul made a lot of noise la. That's why I cannot concentrate la. Ya la! Now I'm irritating you or not uh.

EH SERIOUSLY, why the hell am I still being bothered and insulted by you? Can't we just be okay? YOUR the one adding oil to everything. You said "So, dont have the thinking of "Hey! That girl is trying to talk about me." Ohh please.

So isn't it the same back then when I said things about "dogs"? Why you so perasan? YOU ARE BACKFIRING YOUR OWN WORDS. Eh, seriously GROW UP!

Before you even talk about other people, can you even look at what you have done, what you are doing.

YEAH ITS ALREADY OBVIOUS I'M POINTING TO YOU.

You guys are just ignoring me because of the seating arrangement thing, you didn't even wanna clarify things up with me, instead you gave me a name, you insulted things that you loved about me and then leaving this whole total friendship falling.

Your choice, thanks. Because right now, the one controlling is three people, not only you.

Byebye.

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Amber pwns us all. IN YOUR FACE :D LOL